tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67421432024-03-05T10:55:59.835-05:00Tales From Another PlanetA depiction of the inner workings of an alien mind.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-90221190394700408432021-02-11T18:25:00.003-05:002021-02-11T18:25:36.345-05:00How we can safely reopen schools, and why we won't.<p>Our state has recently passed a bill requiring public schools to offer in person instruction. While it has yet to be signed by the governor, this offers hope for some of the many who have been trying to desperately find childcare alternatives. Sometimes this involves kids left by themselves, or with adults who aren't capable of watching them. Not to mention the fact that many students are left behind due to internet issues, special needs, and the way they learn best. The kid I babysit recently said he needed to turn off his live zoom classes because listening to the teacher was too distracting. He had not yet learned the material, but he would rather figure it out than listen to her rant about how they "had plenty of time to get their work done during class and she was going to have to call parents if they didn't finish in time today.</p><p>Obviously, at the moment does not seem like a great time to do this. It's been almost a year of no classes right now. Cases are close to their all time high in our state. And, more importantly, schools have done ZERO preparation to come back to school safely. There are schools with classes of 40 plus kids. There are schools without safe places and methods for kids to get food. There are schools without any type of ventilation whatsoever and A/C systems that are ancient, and mold and lead in the water fountains. </p><p>So why are schools still in such disrepair and unprepared for what has clearly been coming for a long while? It's definitely not a lack of money. The schools have been given billions from each of the stimulus bills. And childcare centers, YMCAs, and churches have been able to safely watch school age kids for the last year. So what is holding back schools? </p><p>1) Schools lack innovation. The traditional public model for school operated based on "tradition" more than science. They still test frequently, even when that's proven not to benefit teachers or students. They still operate on a 9 month schedule. They operate way inefficiently for parents, who end up paying for before and after school care. They operate using old fashioned techniques, requiring students to sit for longer than is healthy and listen quietly when for some kids, they can't. They are training students to conform, when all businesses want is workers who will be able to take responsibility and think for themselves. I have literally watched a teacher freak the kids out about how "hard" it's going to be to write a paper on their own the next day, and then the next day tell them to copy the sentence from step 1 and then copy the sentence from step 2. None of this is helpful or beneficial to most students. </p><p>2) Schools lack personal decision making. First, the decision has to be made at the state level, then the district level, then the school level, then the teacher may or may not have any input whatsoever on their own classroom, several months down the line. Parents are required to school their children, and for many people, they can't afford other options. Children also have to follow directions, rather than being given decision making ability (all students must wear masks, all students must take off mask at X time while eating six feet away and not talking, all students must go outside, to the bathroom, etc.)</p><p>3) Teacher's unions want to save teachers jobs at the expense of children. Now, don't get me wrong, I do want teachers to be employed. Teachers are overworked and underpaid, but the solution is rooted in all of the above. In order to save teacher's jobs (and in the long run employ more people) we need to cut some teacher's pay. Here's how I would do it:</p><p>First, since all of the curriculum is designed at a state or district level, over the past year we should have had the best teachers working from home, but not directly with students. They should have started creating a new lesson plan. Only a few teachers per subject and grade level. All of the curriculum is pre-planned already, so it wouldn't be that difficult to pull together the exact resources used. ALL of these resources should be designed to be done completely independently including a list of questions and activities that need to be done with a teacher, facilitator, or guide. The remaining teachers would do exactly what the YMCA and other childcare providers have been doing - form pods of (at most) 10 students in areas that they can socially distance and support the students through the extra activities and questions. For parents who don't have to work and want to opt out of face to face, the lessons are all available to the students and they can work through them at their own pace, with parental help and involvement as necessary. These modules should be designed to take about 3 hours a day, year round, but can be worked through at the student's pace and schedule. </p><p>How could we pay for all that? Well, teachers work on average 60 hours a week for 9 months a year, so while pay would be the same, the fair thing to do is spread out the hours. The easy way to do it is exactly the way the YMCA has done it. Before and after school care is $30 a day. Low income kids get a scholarship. "In person" school for those who want it, is free from 9-12 or 12-3. Teachers now have classes of twenty, but only ten at a time. They have almost zero lesson planning. All of the tests, quizzes, checks for understanding are already built into the system. So, now teachers work 40 hours a week (if that) year round. School teachers on average make about $45,000 per year, so $20 an hour seems like a reasonable amount to pay the staff on average. If you figure half the kids pay for before and after school, and 20% of the kids opt out of in person entirely, choosing to form their own pods, now you have MORE money, for SMALLER class sizes. Now, we can truly innovate and reach those kids that don't fit the "standard". With all the extra money coming in, tear down some buildings you no longer need, reform those outdated cafeterias into restaurants where kids can use their extra time to grow food and feed the hungry. Work one on one with students at risk. Hire extra counselors and form more clubs. Invite more community members in. Use research based methods to build students up rather than tear them down. </p><p>And yes, we should also get rid of a lot of the crap. The administrators, the district office, the bus drivers. Make schools more community centered and focused. Make them centers for students to desire to learn rather than boxes to try to fit students into. The classroom model of instruction is dead after this year, so let it stay dead and resurrect something better. </p><p>Unfortunately, the main reason this won't happen, is the teacher's unions, board members, and politicans who are too scared of "losing teachers" that they prioritize teachers over the true essential workers who have put their lives on the line delivering food, maintaining the supply chain, providing transportation, maintaining public safety and utilities, and fighting fires. Teachers don't "need" to be vaccinated to get students back to school. But they do need a totally different environment to go back to. And unfortunately, we haven't taken the time and extreme measures needed to make a safe place in our schools. We've allowed everyone else to do it better and thrown money at the problem. Which unfortunately has been the case for schools for decades. </p>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-50642647383441084612021-01-22T15:00:00.001-05:002021-01-22T15:00:05.361-05:00One Million<br />One million words could not express<br />What one heart holds for you<div>One million small requests</div><div>That you always followed through</div><div>Every time and every place</div><div>Where I felt your sweet embrace</div><div>Exists for every time to come</div><div>Within my mind</div><div><br /></div><div>There's no where this love can hide</div><div>There's nothing my heart can do</div><div>It's bursting out and breaking through</div><div>Until I think I'll die if I do</div><div>Or die if I don't see you</div><div><br /></div><div>One million things to do now</div><div>Waiting for your return</div><div>One million broken vows</div><div>And people I have hurt</div><div>Everything and everyone</div><div>Tell me that I can't go on</div><div>But you show me who I am and <br />Heal my heart</div><div><br /></div><div>One million more days</div><div>And yet I still will wait</div><div>One million tired and poor</div><div>And just one more</div><div>You said you'd come back for me</div><div>Even if you had to leave</div><div>One million behind</div><div>And so I know</div><div>You are one in a million mine</div><div><br /></div>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-15759468696455131752021-01-20T13:00:00.001-05:002021-01-20T13:00:04.425-05:00Toxic Masculinity and Transgender Kids - more closely related than you thinkRecently, there have been several news articles coming out about parents of very young kids allowing their children to "change gender" pre-puberty. Understandably, there are medical benefits to this. Unfortunately, in my opinion, it is a classic case of child abuse.<br />
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Here's my problem. Unless you have a toxic view of masculinity, there is absolutely no need or even a desire for a boy to become a girl (or vice versa).<br />
<br />For example, a pro transgender friend of mine shared an article that basically asked everyone, whether transgender or not, to think about their gender. What about you says that you are a man/woman? What about you doesn't fit your idea of a gender role? What do you think of when you think of a man/woman? And then they admitted that the final decision to change gender was, "I just don't want to be a man/woman".<div><br /></div><div>Well, here's the problem with that idea... not one single person in this world is the "ideal" model for their gender. There are plenty of men that do something "unmanly" and plenty of women that don't "feel feminine". But when we have people who "don't feel" some other body feature, we have to accept that there are some things we can change if we really want to (hair color, eye color with contacts, body shape, etc) and there are some things we can't. If I'm right handed, I can't become left handed. If I'm 6'6", I can't suddenly become 5'4". We have to learn to live and love our own bodies.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, in reality, whether you "feel like" a traditional male or female or not, the whole idea behind gender identification is irrelevant. The truth is, regardless of how feminine or masculine we judge ourselves to be, all we are doing is comparing a societal construct (i.e. what is the "role" of a man or woman) with a physical body part. Trust me when I say no one really wants the insanity of female emotions. But there are plenty of men who don't "identify" with toxic masculinity, and I thin that's fantastic!</div><div><br /></div><div>Men don't have to be fighters, they can be lovers. Boys don't have to fight, they can cook and play with dolls. Fathers can put on makeup and nail polish for their daughters, and attend their tea parties. And any feminist would say the absolute same thing about women. We can wear shapeless clothing, take boxing lessons, be in the military, wear short hair, fly airplanes, etc. So the only reason to attempt to change your gender is a sexual preference, and to be quite honest, I think there are enough opinions and tools in that regard that if I wanted to get into "too much information" territory, I could easily disprove the "need" for that as well.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, the next time your little boy or girl doesn't "feel like" their gender, try to talk it out with them, instead of 1) freaking out that they might want to change gender or sexual orientation (which is really not possible before puberty) or 2) giving them the idea that they can change anything physical about them to "feel whole". We won't be whole until we reach heaven. All of us struggle with the issue of identity and self-worth. But rather than asking if we fit a societal ideal for whatever gender means, we should be accepting and loving who we really are. Whether you label yourself male or female, God has created you male or female. And you may be a very masculine woman or a very feminine man. Without the toxic masculinity in modern American society, would it really matter? </div>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-26298352299220494392021-01-04T15:00:00.001-05:002021-01-04T15:00:11.381-05:00Unexpected<p> Tragedy or triumph can strike in the most unexpected of
places. It has been nine months into this pandemic in America, and there are
still no answers. People who have “taken every precaution” and still fall ill.
Teachers at schools that have been closed since March for “safety” and still fall
ill. Depression, anxiety, and suicide at all time highs, and people are still
falling ill. And yes, it is a disease that has caused many to die.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Where are the answers? Why can’t we do better?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The answer is and has always been, that we cannot control
life and death. We may hope to, we may wish to, we may struggle when “plans”
change. I hope one thing that we’ve learned is not to take each other for
granted. Our lives are not a guarantee. A smaller risk of dying because I am
young is not a zero chance of dying. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our discipleship group has recently completed an in-depth
study of James. While there is so much in the book of James, one thing that
really stood out during this time was the story of boasting about tomorrow. How
many times do we plan out our next year, or five years, or ten years, or even a
retirement plan, and we ignore the unexpected? Yes, I have a plan for
retirement, but it’s not my plan, it’s an idea. It’s not guaranteed. My true
plan for retirement is whatever God has planned for me. It could be to raise my
grandkids, it could be to never retire, it could be that my husband and I don’t
make it that far and those funds go to help our kids with their future plans. The
truth is that none of us is promised tomorrow. So what can we do today?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I will admit that the whole Covid situation has thrown me
for a loop this past year. I have struggled with depression (due to B-12
deficiency). While the vitamin deficiency has resolved, anyone who has struggled
with depression will tell you that it sticks with you. There is a residual
effect that sort of dims the future as well as the past. So, while I am not
clinically depressed, I have been way less motivated for the past months. Less
motivated to write. Less motivated to take care of my physical body. Less
motivated to seek out friendships.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, when I read James and hear of all the many lives lost
due to the pandemic, it reminds me to not plan so much for the future. Don’t
worry about tomorrow, and not because tomorrow has enough worries of its own.
Don’t worry about tomorrow, because no matter your plans, God may have
something unexpected planned. No, God did not create a virus to kill thousands
of people. That’s not accurate. Death has always been and will always be with
us. The flu is down 98% this year, which will save many lives. SIDS is down
significantly, saving many lives. The truth is, that we don’t know all the answers.
Despite the best research, despite the best precautions, illness and death have
always existed since the Fall of Man and will continue exist until Jesus
returns to Earth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What are you and I to do in the face of this uncertainty? Don’t
stick your head in the sand. Don’t “wait” for things to improve. Don’t plan for
next year or wish away the past nine months. Do focus on the one and only
certainty we have in life. One day, we will meet Jesus face to face. Whether it
is today or tomorrow or 70 years from now. What are you and I doing today to
prepare for that meeting? Have you talked to the One True King today? Have you
worshipped the Lord of all Creation, the One who invented DNA and RNA and the
blades of grass that fuel all life? Have you loved the people around you like
today is the last chance you have? Have you passed along what wisdom you’ve been
given? Have you listened to the wisdom that others have tried to speak into
your life?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Out of all the unexpected events that have taken place over the
last year or so, have you really thought about how to act in light of an
unknown future? Or are you simply reacting with anger, fear, anxiety, and
depression. We don’t know the future. We don’t know how viruses work, despite
our best efforts. People get sick. People die. We are people. However, in our
lives, however brief they may be, our goal should be to bring glory to the Creator.
We weren’t created just to sit around and bemoan our lives. We were created in
God’s image. We were given passion for justice, creativity to design and build,
a soul to worship God, and a mind to absorb, dwell, and understand the beauty
of the world around us.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you are able, absolutely take this time to learn
something new, design something beautiful, fight for what’s right, but do it with
a right spirit. Do it to honor and worship the One True God. If you haven’t met
Him yet, I would encourage you to simply ask Him. If you truly seek Him, He
will be found. <o:p></o:p></p>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-50984548353051810752020-09-26T16:00:00.001-05:002020-09-26T16:04:20.088-05:00Faith Saved<p>When I'm lost and broken</p><p>Too afraid to move on</p><p>Stuck in my past</p><p>No matter the last</p><p>Words you said</p><p><br /></p><p>You reached down again today</p><p>Lifted up my head</p><p>And when I couldn't speak</p><p>You touched my lips</p><p>To free me</p><p><br /></p><p>No more shame</p><p>You've taken away my pain</p><p>With Your name</p><p>No more sin</p><p>You've given me weapons and</p><p>Strength to win</p><p><br /></p><p>When I'm poor and undone</p><p>Empty and feeling down</p><p>Stuck on myself</p><p>You knew the cost</p><p>Sent your Son</p><p><br /></p><p>Saved</p><p>By Faith alone </p>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-47301465897338011412019-01-10T08:00:00.000-05:002019-01-10T08:00:12.085-05:00I Can't Believe in a God that....One of the problems that I see with evangelism in a post-Christian society is that people have really tough questions that they know "shut down" the majority of Christians. This is the first in what may end up being a series of posts dealing with sticky evangelistic topics. I don't feel like I am very good at evangelism, but I want to get better, and how else to get better than to dive right in to one of the trickiest topics out there.<br />
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<b>"I can't believe in a God that sends good people to hell."</b><br />
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This is probably one of the toughest questions out there. The majority of non-Christians don't see themselves as any different than Christians. They see us as hypocritical, judgmental, and "just like them". So why do Christians say that we exclude other religions and the non-religious from this fantastic "heaven" that we desire so much? Why would a good God send decent people to hell? What we do isn't "that bad" really, is it?<br />
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I've been contemplating for awhile really, and there are a LOT of controversial ideas of heaven and hell. So rather than get into a big theological discussion of which of those I believe in the most, I thought I would focus on the easiest answer of all. What if He doesn't? What if we all go to the same place, and it's either heaven or hell?<br />
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Here's a "real world" example. If the world were to end today, in a horrible nuclear centered explosion where every world power set off their nuclear stockpile at the same time, we would all be experiencing the same thing, right? So, now let's imagine that some small percentage of the people on earth knew about this nuclear disaster. They were provided special glasses and outfits so that they would not go blind, and were completely sheltered so that they could see and experience, but were totally unaffected by the amazing power shooting around them. Obviously, these protected few would be sad that so many would be dying around them, and this is not the best example, but imagine that those not protected never actually die. Everyone is exposed to the exact same power, but some are protected, and some are not. Everyone was offered the same protection, some chose to believe and use what they were given, and some laughed at the warning they were given.<br />
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Even the worst person in the world is given a choice of where they want to go. But if you lived your whole life in open defiance to a deity that you maybe believed in but didn't take seriously, I'm not sure you would ask to go to Heaven. God is supremely powerful. More powerful than the largest nuclear blast we can imagine. With His breath, He spoke the entire universe into existence. From that one word, the universe continues to expand exponentially, thrown forth by His command. Can you stand under that power? I know that I cannot.<br />
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The difference is not that I am a better person. The difference is that I am hopeful enough in Jesus grace, that I would choose to be near that power. I know that a sacrifice had to be made. I know that my sins would consume me in His presence as surely as Sodom and Gomorrah. I know that I am not holy or righteous enough on my own to stand. But to me, heaven is being exposed to that glory. Sitting in that power and knowing that Jesus sacrifice was enough. That's where I want to be when I die. Not in a fluffy way. Not in a self-righteous way. Not in a way that would exclude anyone on this planet.<br />
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Yes, God is love. He is completely loving, and He is also completely holy. For those that don't have Jesus grace on their lives, I think that heaven would be hell to them. To stand in front of the greatest power, beyond our imagination, and know that there is nothing you can ever do to explain to this force beyond nature that you scoffed at Him, that you purposefully ignored Him, that you thought yourself more powerful than He. Can you really say at that time, that what you did was not "that bad"?<br />
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So, when a post-Christian claims that they can't believe in a God who would be so unloving that He wouldn't "allow" people into heaven, know that I don't necessarily disagree with that sentiment either. Fortunately, He is a God that is beyond my imagination, but I do know that He is holy enough that we would not be able to stand in His glory. So, whether heaven and hell are two separate places or one, know that it is not unloving for Him to separate the non-believers from His presence. It may very well be a better place for them to be in hell than in heaven.<br />
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Again, these are ideas in my head, and God is beyond our imagination. So rather than dissect the theology of heaven and hell the next time someone brings up a tricky question like this, with hundreds of possible answers, try to think of what they really mean. <b>Why does God not love me enough to let me into heaven?</b> He does absolutely love you, and in His love, He cannot let an unholy people see His power, or they will surely die. But, do not be afraid. He has sent His Son. To pay the penalty for all you have already done and all you will continue to unknowingly do. All you have to do is dive in.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-46187425537464138402018-10-26T09:00:00.000-05:002018-10-26T13:03:39.509-05:00Public School and Job OpportunitiesI try not to be one of "those" homeschoolers who tries to convince everyone to homeschool and is anti-public school. I actually have a HUGE passion for education, including public school. However, there is a big area that public schools are failing our children, and this may not be entirely apparent until the next generation enters the workforce.<br />
<br />
I was reading an article about Generation "Z" entering the workforce. They were talking about a few different things, and one of them was that these new employees were "risk averse" and "non-entrepreneurial". That got me thinking about the future of job opportunities for children currently in school - including my own. My husband is a manager, and one of his main complaints is that some of the employees only want to do one thing one way, and they aren't easily able to adjust their thinking, think divergently, plan ahead, or make executive decisions. This can cause real problems in the workforce. Even more so as things continue to move towards a more automated system.<br />
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For example, at my husband's work, the "automated" part of the system sent an extra file than they normally do. It was an automation error, but the people doing the processing completed everything, without ever questioning the fact that something was different - despite several clear clues that something was wrong. I have seen the same thing in my tutoring of college level students. Many students are so bad at common sense that they can only ask "do I add or subtract" even if it's something very basic. They just want the "formula" rather than being able to think in a common sense manner about what is happening in the problem.<br />
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Now, these are obviously not new problems. My husband works with people his age and older for the most part. However, these problems are going to become more and more prevalent unless major changes are made in the public school system in this country.<br />
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When testing and showing up are all that is valued in the schools, we will end up with a generation full of people expecting to "show up", check a box, and collect a paycheck. If you think about the jobs that are going to be available 10-20 years from now, that's just not going to cut it.<br />
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I can see that people sometimes look at the fact that my kids are a bit hyper or don't always sit and do worksheets. I do wonder myself sometimes what their work ethic will be, since they are only required to do maybe 1-2 hours of work a day right now. But, I think it's even more important that they learn how to think. I don't worry about whether or not my (possibly dysgraphic) son has lined up his addition or subtraction problem correctly. I care that when they discuss 8 times 4 they can say "Oh that's the same as 2 times 16" or read a paragraph word problem and dictate to me what needs to be added or subtracted from what rather than being spoon fed a formula.<br />
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Not all kids will be able to do this in depth thinking, and homeschool is not for all kids. I am trying to prepare my kids for a world in which they either need a ton of common sense and the ability to think for themselves, or a world where they need to have a physical skill or trade that doesn't automate easily. I don't think public schools prepare kids for either option. So, if you are a parent of a public school student (or a homeschool parent) take a moment to think for a minute about what the job opportunities will be like when your child graduates. Are they prepared?Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-29065439485257797092018-10-02T08:00:00.000-05:002018-10-25T14:10:51.518-05:00A Different Take - You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with...I had started this post awhile back, and never got around to it. However, since my pastor at church brought up the topic last Sunday, I decided to finally get back to writing (since it has been forever). The famous (infamous) quote from Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. As I understand that quote, we should carefully select the 5 people we spend the most time with. Unfortunately for some of us, those people may not always be easily re-selected.<br />
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I have seen a lot of folks lately who are working with their children's fathers, but not actively spending time with them. Whether they are divorced, ex-boyfriends, or simply struggling, it breaks my heart. I can't fathom trying to co-parent with someone who I don't want on my "5 people" list. Yet, as a Christian, we are NOT called to disown people simply because of their failings, characteristics or personality.<br />
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In reading 1 Corinthians 5:11-12, you will see that we are called to dissociate from certain people within the church because of ongoing sin. However, that has nothing to do with people who have struggles. And, more importantly, as a Christian, it does NOT allow us to dissociate from non-Christians who are actively sinning.<br />
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Now, I know some pastors and counselors who are cringing because they worry that Christians will be led astray. Your first priority should be God and your relationship with Him. If you are a new Christian and you worry that your old friends will lead you back to your old lifestyle, then by all means seek the counsel of your pastor or counselor before returning to a dangerous situation.<br />
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Rather, I am speaking to the "mature" Christian who sees themselves as "above" the non-Christians in their sphere. God is NOT calling you to leave the world and ignore the non-Christians in your circle of influence. God is NOT calling you to ignore your relative or friend or even your Christian brother who has some personality defect that you don't want to "catch" from him being in your circle of influence.<br />
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Instead, God is calling you to be an Influencer <u>to</u> those people. We are called to be a light in the darkness, but what does that mean? Does it mean that we exist only in light? If so, can anyone even tell that we are shining? No, we are called to go out into the darkness, but not to be snuffed out, rather to shine so brightly that the darkness becomes light! So rather than focus on whether those 5 people "deserve" to be in your circle, pray and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit about how you can be an influencer in a positive way.<br />
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Here are some examples.<br />
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<li>A non-Christian is struggling through divorce, sexual immorality, pagan worship, etc. If you are in this person's circle, pray hard and love them. If they invite you to their spirit circle dance, let them know why you can't go to that one, but go to everything else. Go to their kid's birthday part, invite them to your house for dinner, help them with storm clean up, babysit their kids. If you are an influencer in this person's life, then pray hard and love them as Christ loved the church. Not as a moralizer or a business decision, simply because God made them and loves them and wants to call them closer to Him.</li>
<li>A Christian is struggling with a personality defect of some kind - habitual lateness, general cranky demeanor, poor follow up (forgets to call you back, doesn't always say the right thing). Keep this person in your circle! Now, the question becomes, will you influence this person, or will they influence you. When I was a weekend breakfast server at a hotel, I would often get cranky customers, but I was responsible for pouring their coffee. If I let them put me in a grumpy mood, maybe I wouldn't want to be around them, and I would pour their coffee last and they would leave grumpy. Instead, I chose to see that person as a positive challenge. How quickly could my smiles (and my coffee) turn that person's frown into a smile. Usually it was much quicker than I expected. If you always look on other people in the most positive light, you may eventually find that what you thought was a personality defect that you were worried you would "catch" is instead an opportunity to befriend someone who needs a friend. God's word says that there is a friend who is closer than a brother, but I don't always see this in the church (Proverbs 18:24)</li>
<li>A Christian is actively sinning, but is not aware. This is where is starts to get sticky in real life. I have some friends, for example, who are gossips. If I am not careful, I may let myself be drawn into this habit, rather than confronting them to draw them out of the habit. If you look at your circle of influence and see a lot of this, consider how to best help. First, look inward - are you actually involved in and participating in this sin as well? If so, address the sin issue in your own heart first. Second, look upward, consider why this behavior is a sin, and what positive characteristics may be behind it (one of my friends who is a gossip is a fabulous listener because she really cares what is being said). Third, look outward, while this person is still in your sphere of influence, bring the sin to their attention. For example, "I know that you care about such and such person or situation, but this is really a private matter that we shouldn't be discussing in this manner." If the person is made aware of the sin, and continues in the sin, then you have to look carefully at the next steps you should take (going to the elders of the church, pastor, or counselor). </li>
<li>If a Christian is actively participating in clear sin, has been confronted, and has not repented, then you need to pray hard for that person and seek Biblical counsel from your pastor, elder, or a Christian counselor. There may be situations (such as a family member or community group) where you feel it is not possible to step outside this person's sphere of influence. If this is the case, I encourage you to find an accountability partner, and seek Godly counsel. </li>
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So, look closely at the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you are the average, are you actively working to bring the average up or down? Rather than look at changing the actual people that you spend time with, look at how you can work to change yourself, and maybe influence those around you in the process. Be a better average than you have been and maybe someday soon you can turn those grumpy frowns into smiles.</div>
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<br />Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-85843931674223774702018-01-08T08:00:00.000-05:002018-01-08T08:00:00.204-05:00You Don't Deserve Loyalty (and that's okay)With the New Year comes a new start. I have seen so many people posting on my favorite website to hate on (Facebook) about how they are "refreshing" themselves in the New Year by getting rid of people. Honestly, it just makes my heart break. Full disclaimer, I'm not talking about being a doormat or taking abuse from someone. Those are separate instances entirely and more power to those who can step away from abusive situations.<br />
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Rather, these are normal everyday people who, for whatever reason, have decided that if you cause them stress, you are out of their life.<br />
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Honestly, my kids cause me stress everyday and some days I am tempted, but unfortunately, I can't get rid of them that easily. They are stuck in my heart strings, and that's a fabulous thing!<br />
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Now, I will try not to post any specifics, because I honestly have no issue with the multiple people I have seen doing this. I love and respect them and agree with the very basic idea behind what they are trying to do, but the method is just not there. For instance, one person noted that they were "very loyal" to the people in their lives who were nice to them, but would "cut out" everyone else. Now, toxic people can be a real thing, but guess what, being "loyal" only to the people who are nice to you, is not loyalty at all.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I value kindness and gentleness in my friends. But I also value my friends. Period. Even the ones who are occasionally brash and mean. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I try to look on the positive rather than the negative. Even when it seems like a personal attack, I try to give grace and forgiveness. I was really hurt by a particular friend after one social event because I took something she said personally, but I pulled on my big girl panties and went back to the next event, dreading out interaction. Can you imagine that she was the sweetest, most sensitive person in the world that day?!?<br />
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She was! And all I had to do was show up with a blank sheet of paper rather than keeping score. She hadn't meant anything personal with her last comments, and even if she had, well what then?<br />
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We can choose how to respond to what happens to us. We can choose to act on love, forgiveness, and respect for other people's personalities and souls. Or, we can choose to react, become defensive, protect "our" rights and privileges. Instead of considering the best in others, we can bring out the worst in ourselves. In this New Year, which would you rather be doing?Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-74766805979196308122017-06-08T09:00:00.001-05:002017-06-08T09:00:14.974-05:00Dave Matthews Band - Live Trax Volume 17By T.P. Creech (aka "hubby")<br />
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Between pregnancy and the newborn days, the blog has been neglected for some time. However, getting back into the swing of things, it is finally back to DMB Thursdays! Which means it's time for another Live Trax review! <br />
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This one's a prime number too. (Don't ask, I'm weird.)<br />
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DMB Live Trax Volume 17<br />
07.06.1997<br />
1) Two Step<br />
2) #41 »<br />
3) Say Goodbye<br />
4) The Best of What's Around<br />
5) Lover Lay Down<br />
6) Jimi Thing<br />
7) Lie in Our Graves<br />
8) For the Beauty of Wynona<br />
9) Pay for What You Get<br />
10) Dancing Nancies<br />
11) Crash into Me<br />
12) Tripping Billies<br />
13) So Much to Say »<br />
14) Anyone Seen the Bridge »<br />
15) Too Much<br />
16) Leave Me Praying<br />
17) Ants Marching<br />
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On the heels of a Live Trax picked by fans, the band releases a Live Trax from a year that many fans had been asking for since the series started. 1997 was a very short tour but it featured extensive guest spots from Bela Fleck & The Flecktones. The thought was that one of those shows would be a shoe-in for a release. We'd get Live Trax Volume 7, Part 2. We didn't. But, that doesn't mean we didn't get a fantastic show.<br />
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1997's tour was short as the band was heading into the studio with Steve Lillywhite to record the album Before These Crowded Streets. It's regarded by many as the band's darkest and best work.<br />
This particular show starts with Two Step which at this point had really come into it's own. It's not the epic 20 minute versions of today, but it definitely packs a punch. I do have to comment that it really does sort of fall apart at the end, but it's still a fine opener. It's followed by a solid two punch of #41 and Say Goodbye, each excellent. The Best of What's Around and Lover Lay Down are not the definitive versions of either but are certainly quality versions of each.<br />
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David Hildago makes an appearance on guitar for the next three songs, and Steve Berlin joins him on saxophone on the latter two (both of Los Lobos fame). David's solos never really go anywhere on Jimi or Lie In Our Graves, but the Wynona cover is fantastic and he plays a large part in that. For The Beauty Of Wynona is a great cover song for the band and this was the first time it had been released on a DMB album. It's the standout of the release.<br />
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Pay For What You Get is a fantastic version, not as good as Live Trax 5, but still good. I really wish the Dancing Nancies here proceeded Warehouse, but alas, it's stand alone. Crash Into Me is fantastic here, one of the best.<br />
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Tripping Billies has a mistake in the intro, although apparently Dave broke a string at the beginning and had to change guitars. It wouldn't make it a mistake per se, but it's a little weird to hear it if you're not used to it. The set ends with the relatively recently developed suite of So Much To Say & Anyone Seen The Bridge & Too Much. It's so different in it's infancy!<br />
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The encore of this tour is pretty unspectacular. (For some reason, most of the shows of the tour ended this way, especially later ones.) Leave Me Praying is an early version of Don't Drink The Water. It's a spacy, dark mood that really meanders and never goes anywhere - not my cup of tea. Ants Marching is certainly okay here but not spectacular.<br />
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It's a solid setlist and it's a 1997 show, so the band played fine but there's not a whole lot definitive here. That said, it's a very solid show and I'd highly recommend it. The mix is considered by some as the best ever done. I think it sounds a bit distant myself, but again, it's not enough to pull away from purchasing it. This is a solid 4 star release.<br />
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Has your CD collection started to grow yet? By my count, you should have 12 more albums in the library now.<br />
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Recap:<br />
Live Trax 1: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 2: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 3: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 4: 3/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 5: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 6: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 7: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 8: 3/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 9: 0/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 10: 1/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 11: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 12: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 13: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 14: 2/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 15: 3/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 16: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 17: 4/5, purchase<br />
Overall: 3.3/5, 12 purchase, 5 skipZoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-59717094128781608622017-06-07T09:00:00.000-05:002017-06-07T09:00:12.362-05:00Dropping Toxic PeopleAhhh, Facebook. The joys of watching other people spiral into a cycle of ever depressing memes, What did we ever do before your glorious awakening?<br />
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I pretty much hate memes, but for some reason everything the Facebook criteria puts in my feed has a picture, which unfortunately includes memes. Some of the more recent ones that a select few Facebook friends have shared or posted are about "dropping toxic people". Everyone is smiling and nodding their heads, "Yeah, we don't want those people in our lives."<br />
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Please keep in mind, I am NOT talking about abusive people. I'm talking about those people that hurt us in other ways that are not intentional. You know, those horrible people who don't text back right away, or invite you to their house when you invited them to yours. Seriously? That's all it takes to become a "toxic person" and get "dropped"? Well, according to the world of memes, apparently so.<br />
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The idea behind this is the concept of "social currency". If I "invest" myself in someone else, I need to get a return on my investment. Again, I am shocked, but not entirely. The idea is that we don't have time to "waste" on people who won't respond in kind. In other words, if I'm a better friend to someone else than they are to me, then I shouldn't be friends with them.<br />
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Here's the problem with this concept. I am a terrible friend right now. I have 3 little boys, I have a part-time job, I have responsibilities with my church, small group, discipleship/accountability group, running a co-op, talking with my family, keeping my house in reasonable order. I don't always have the time or ability to be the best friend I can be to EVERYONE in my social circle. So, because I know that I am not the best friend I can be right now, I don't expect other people to be either. Sure, I have friends who neglect to invite me to things. In all honesty, they probably think I don't have time. I have friends who say things without thinking (if we were really keeping score I probably am winning the "foot in mouth" race though). I even have friends who have let me down in very specific, intentional and hurtful ways, BUT I am still friends with all of these people.<br />
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We don't live in a world where we react to things the same way. I have friends with anxiety, friends with depression, friends with kids who have special needs, friends with no kids, friends who like me and people who I consider friends who probably don't consider me one of their friends. And, I am at a place in my life where I am okay with that. I don't have to be friends with only the people who are "better friends than me" although that doesn't take much at this point in my life. I can be friends with people I don't always like or agree with. I can give without expecting a return. I can invite without expecting an invitation. I can love, regardless of whether I am loved in return.<br />
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How? Why? What would make me do such insane things? I am loved and accepted by God. Regardless of my sin and attitude. Regardless of my pride and self-centeredness. Regardless of the current status of my friendship towards Him, He still sent His Son to die in my place. When I think of how I've treated God at different times over my life, and how humanity has and continues to treat him, and his overwhelming love for each and every single person on this earth, no matter how criminal they may be or how much they hate or ignore Him, how can I expect a fellow sojourner to keep tally of my love towards them and love me exactly the same? I need to be filled with that overwhelming love for even the most toxic people in my life. Not in a way to let them hurt me or abuse me, but simply to show the grace that I've already been shown. I literally cannot judge my fellow human beings, because I have been washed clean, and they can be as well.<br />
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The amazing part is, when we realize this, those toxic people can't hurt us anymore. Not because we kick them out of our lives, but because we don't judge them for their brokenness. I can't be offended by something my friend says or does, because I can understand how it happens. I know how fragile our hearts and minds can be. I know how easily I can speak a word that hurts without meaning it. I know how my pride and judgment can get in the way of relationships. I am not perfect and never will be on this earth. And it's okay with me if you aren't perfect either.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-43592031372947049642017-06-06T09:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T09:00:34.724-05:00Birth Story - Life UnplannedMy third child was recently born, and things did not go exactly as I had hoped. We had been "on the fence" with the doctors for several months: placenta previa, low lying placenta, in and out of the hospital several times with bleeding issues. We finally were graduated from low lying placenta and conservatively told we could do a "trial of labor" at the beginning of January.<br />
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As my due date approached at the end of January, we were feeling pretty positive about our attempt at a third natural labor and birth. The Braxton Hicks contractions were ramping up, our doula was on standby, and given my history of rather large babies, we decided to schedule a membrane sweep to try to get the party started a few days before my due date.<br />
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Unfortunately, we belatedly realized that with bleeding issues, a membrane sweep may not have been the best choice. There was no immediate bleeding, but about 8 hours later, as contractions began coming fast and strong, the bottom dropped out and we ended up headed to the hospital yet again with heavy bleeding. Being nearly 40 weeks, we knew we probably wouldn't leave without having the baby, and given the severity of the bleeding we also assumed it would probably be a C-section.<br />
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Personally, I was not overly concerned about the surgery itself, I knew the doctors had a lot of experience in that area, and I also knew that laboring while losing so much blood was not going to be the pleasant, happy experience I had hoped for. So we didn't argue too much when the doctor on call said that a piece of the placenta was trying to come first. Essentially, when discussing it later with my regular doctor, she said that most likely there was a small lobe of the placenta which was somewhat loose, since some of the ultrasounds said the placenta was less than a centimeter away or still previa during a late December hospital visit, but the early January visit showed it was over 2.5 centimeters away. Active labor apparently triggered this lobe to start bleeding due to the pressure and timing of the contractions.<br />
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What I was concerned about, however, was the type of anesthesia and how my body would react to it. I had never had any type of anesthesia before, other than very localized such as for minor dental procedures. Even when my wisdom teeth were removed, I simply used nitrous oxide and local anesthesia. Fortunately, every one of the nurses and the anesthesiologist knew exactly what to do to put my mind at ease. They were funny without being too funny. They were distracting without being too distracting. The nurse held my hand and put pressure on me while speaking soothingly and distractedly. The anesthesiologist talked me through what he was doing without drawing my attention to it. I honestly didn't even feel the insertion, and the spinal worked immediately and effectively with no side effects. I know that a lot of this was due to the many many prayers from those who knew we were headed to the hospital for this reason (my doula was also the pastor's wife, so I know she and my husband were praying specifically for these issues from inside the hospital).<br />
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The C-section seemed pretty textbook from my perspective. I felt a blanket of peace and calm and paid about halfway attention to what they were doing. The doctor was a very quiet type, so it was easy to forget exactly what they were doing, even though the medical team was communicating with each other. They did apparently use some vacuum extraction to get him through the incision without having to widen it too much. He was 9 pounds 6 ounces and 22 inches long.<br />
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One other thing I was worried about was bonding. Since I never went through the labor process with this 3rd baby, and wouldn't get quite the same hormone rush, would I bond as easily this time around? In actuality, I bonded instantly and strongly. When they put that little bundle up by my cheek and he open mouth kissed me, I knew we were connected. Despite the bleeding issues, the more difficult recovery from a C-section, and a few feeding issues that we worked through over the first few months of life, this little man was destined to be a part of our family. I have no regrets over how the birth happened. I think God must have known that I would work myself up too much over a planned C-section (I had a panic attack in November, part of which was me going back and forth between freaking out over needing a C-section and wanting them to cut him out right away). In the end I had the perfect situation and the peace I needed to not only "get through" the surgery, but to thrive afterward. I had the perfect medical team, and even what I thought was a bad part of the experience ("Nurse Ratchet" we joked) who got me up and moving after the surgery more quickly than I would have liked - leading to a quicker initial recovery than expected.<br />
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In all, this 3rd pregnancy, labor, and delivery was nothing like I expected. I experienced some new things, and I can joke about the C-section baby being the one with the smallest head (still large compared to "average"), And I can joke about planning the baby badly from a financial perspective. But I can also appreciate the diversity of experiences mother's have. We all come into being a mother in different ways: some after days of labor, and some with no labor at all. But we all have that bond, whether instant or over months and years. Even an adoptive mom knows that child was meant to be with her family. No amount of distractions, surgeries, worries, distance, or time will cut that bond completely. Mom's have a special place in their child's life, and we should celebrate that more than one day a year.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-6488352706674930872017-01-20T09:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:56:54.102-05:00Kids and LearningI think one of the most interesting things about homeschooling compared to trying to teach in a public classroom, is the easy ability to adjust based on a child's learning style. It's quite a monumental effort in a large classroom to even determine learning styles, much less meet each child's needs. While I don't actively homeschool my 3 year old, he is almost 4 now, and definitely wants to participate in school. Of course, his learning style and personality is almost a complete opposite of my oldest.<br />
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My oldest child is definitely one who does things because they are "supposed" to be done. He wants to see the boxes, check the boxes, and move on. While he did get a bit excited and work ahead in his math book, and he does usually finish up the read aloud books on his own, he also can be a bit hesitant to try "something new". He loves science experiments, but hates crafts. He also told me today that he "couldn't read" his history book on his own. I kindly pointed out that he finished the read aloud stories (approximately a 4th grade reading level) and had him read a chapter aloud, but didn't push him. Pushing him generally backfires, but I do require him to finish his work carefully.<br />
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My current youngest (for at least a few more hours, days, or weeks) is quite the opposite. Good luck telling him that he can't do something. I really have been trying actively not to teach him to read, but he keeps jumping ahead in leaps and bounds. We aren't actively doing phonics, but he has about 400 sight words at this point. Some of which are quite unusual and I wasn't sure where he was getting them. I finally figured out a few are from the video games that they watch on YouTube (many of the YouTube video creators narrate the written on-screen dialogue, so my 3 year old can now read "Port Prisma" and "Course clear" from Paper Mario Color Splash). He can usually read at least half or more words in a level 1 book. I suppose sometime after our 3rd boy is born, I will have to get into phonics so he's not missing out on some important reading habits. He is also more in tune with his fine motor skills so he loves stamps and do-a-dots and his favorite from his "math books" (which are preschool workbooks designed for 4-5 year olds) is to "cut and paste". I make him finish everything that comes before the cut and paste, but I don't require a certain number of pages a day. Sometimes he will ask to "do school" at random times of the day and do 5-10 pages at once.<br />
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In public school, kids can be labelled and put in groups and "advocated" for if they have special needs. In homeschool, they get to just be your kid. You can modify and adjust any curriculum to meet their specific needs, and even change curriculum entirely if something doesn't work for you kid. Since my oldest is a bit behind in fine motor skills still due to his sensory issues, we will be taking a break from our current curriculum when we finish out the current year, and try something a bit less writing intensive until he is able to catch up. It's a beautiful thing, and I can't wait to see what special personality and learning traits come out with the 3rd boy after he arrives and starts to grow and develop.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-36338862553225125622017-01-18T09:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:57:06.025-05:00Diversity and Personality in the ChurchA few recent comments from church members and small group members has created some deep thinking recently regarding diversity in family and parenting styles in the church. As any of my long-term blog followers know, at one point I struggled with judgment towards others. My Meyers Brigg personality is a borderline I/E but a very strong NTJ, especially that big fat J. Fortunately, part of being a Christian is growth and development through the working of the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and other Christians. As a late teenager and young adult, I was able to almost completely resolve my fear/judgment cycle (because I judged others, I feared their judgment towards me and became very hesitant and reserved).<br />
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I have seen in the past few weeks and months how many others still suffer through the same issues that I did. I feel sympathy towards them, and yet I also feel compelled to offer my support. Honestly, I truly do not take their judgment personally because of the work that has been done on my heart, but I also don't want them experiencing the same mistakes that I made when I was younger.<br />
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We are all human and we are all diverse. My husband chooses not to wear a wedding ring. I am not wearing a wedding ring currently due to being 9 months pregnant. Shockingly, two separate people at church have mentioned my lack of wedding ring in the 1 month that I have left it off. Really? You see us multiple times per week, you know we're married, you know we're faithful, what does our choice of wearing a ring or never taking it off matter to you? One of the people that mentioned it did seem to recognize his judgmental fallacy by saying he felt terrible for judging all the people he saw without rings when there could be a valid explanation. Yet, even if there wasn't a valid explanation, is that the right reaction a Christian should have towards a stranger? Yes, if there is sin WITHIN the church, it needs to be pointed out in a loving manner, but we need to be very clear on what is "sin" and what is "personal choice". I am not cheating on my husband, and he is not cheating on me, so our lack of rings has no bearing on our heart or sin situation.<br />
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In another instance, I have heard a few families make judgments on parenting styles. Admittedly, sometimes I do this myself, but it has no bearing on how I interact with other families. Yes, sometimes I have to have a conversation with my children about how just because another boy or girl their age is allowed to do something does not automatically give them permission. I also have to step in sometimes as a parent if the other parents are not aware of what is going on and protect them from a safety standpoint. And I am 100% on board with other parents stepping in in similar situations. Yet, in non-safety situations, there is such a huge spectrum of parenting styles. When I married my husband, I joked with a few friends that I had a lot of cultural differences to work through early in the relationship. They asked what culture he was from and I said he was born and raised in the same town we currently live.<br />
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Culture is something that varies from person to person and family to family and yes, even when crossing over town or county borders. We tend as humans to try to create relationships and friendships with those who are most "like us" and while that is not necessarily wrong in and of itself, it can tend to lead towards drama, hurt feelings, and a reaction of judgment in cases where no judgment is needed.<br />
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We recently went to Chic-Fil-A with some friends of ours. They let their kids go to the playplace while the food was being ordered, but our kids know they are not allowed to play until after they've eaten their food. While one of my kids was throwing a bit of a fit because he missed his friend, we had a good conversation with the parents. Neither one of our two families was wrong, we just do things a bit differently. Fortunately, the line was short and only a few minutes later the kids were happily eating together and then playing together. Doing life together doesn't mean doing life the same. It means appreciating the differences in other families and respecting their personalities without judging.<br />
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Accidents happen, kids get hurt while playing, some kids are overly sheltered, some kids are largely unsupervised. When it comes to parenting style, we try to maintain a bit of an even balance with our kids. About half of the families with kids the same age as ours are more discipline oriented and about half are less supervisory. I make a big deal of safety issues, prompt obedience, and being nice to others. I also make a huge effort not to overly shelter our kids, so they do have some words occasionally that they probably should not be repeating, but have heard from YouTube, Dave Matthews, or TV. I also take into consideration the personalities of my two children. So occasionally, my almost 4 year old is put to bed with a book and we go to bed without forcing him to stay in his bed. And occasionally my oldest child is not punished for his behavior when he gets overwhelmed with sensory issues beyond his control.<br />
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So why is there judgment in the church over these issues, when I don't see it at the park or the library? I think some of it comes from a place of love. We see someone in the church disciplining in a way that we wouldn't and we think that maybe they really need to fix that. But we need to question whether it's something that truly needs to be fixed (i.e. outright disobedience towards parents) or if it is a much subtler issue of personality, rules, and culture. Is someone truly needing help with the discipline of their kids, or are they perfectly happy with where they are on the spectrum of discipline and love. Just like with Grace and Justice, we need to find the balance with our children to create in them a disciplined life without causing them unnecessary pain and suffering (i.e. exasperating our children). And maybe, rather than judging another parent for how they discipline (or don't discipline) their children, we need to find Grace and Justice in the diverse beauty of the church. I personally think it would be incredibly boring if every family were exactly like mine. I've learned a lot about relaxing from the more relaxed parents around me, and I've also seen some adjustments that need to be made in my choices of what to discipline through other parents and grandparents.<br />
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If we all did everything the same, would it be right, or would we all end up doing it wrong?<br />
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<br />Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-67789358203038697872017-01-16T09:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:57:22.894-05:00January BabiesAs I come to the final few weeks of pregnancy with our third child (a third boy of course), I have been wondering about those people who hope to have the "first baby of the year". I was a bit disappointed not to have a December baby (obviously, I hope he bakes long enough to be healthy) when I ended up in the hospital shortly after Christmas and thought about all the benefits of having a baby in December rather than January. He was pretty close to being fully cooked, so he probably could have avoided a long stay in the hospital, so I thought about all the benefits and drawbacks of December versus January babies.<br />
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<br />
Sure, you have to deal with the whole present/party issue (who can come to the birthday party when they are traveling out of town and who wants to buy two presents when it is only a few days apart). However, there are some huge financial benefits the 1st year for babies born in December.<br />
<br />
1) <b>Deductibles start over in January. </b>This will be a big one for us this year. Since I'm expecting in January, I can already expect to hit the several thousand dollar deductible for 2017. Unfortunately, we've also hit the several thousand dollar deductible for 2016 due to those pesky pregnancy issues requiring hospitalization. So, if the baby had been born (and released from) the hospital in December instead of January, we would have easily saved at least $3,000.<br />
2) <b>Child tax credit. </b>This is a big one, for most taxpayers it's an extra $1,000 refund on their taxes, of course, if your child is born in January, you have to wait until the next tax year compared to a baby born in the previous December.<br />
3) <b>Personal exemption. </b>You also miss out on the personal exemption of $4,050 (for 2016). Assuming a marginal tax rate of 15%, this deduction could save another $600 or so.<br />
<br />
So, let's add up those additional expenses and missed savings for Baby # 3... Total cost of a January baby versus a December baby - $4,600. Those "First Baby of the Year" prizes had better be pretty hefty in my opinion.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I'm not all that disappointed that our particular January baby was not born in December. Obviously, a NICU stay, asthma, or any other long term problems that many premature babies face is more costly than the $4,600 difference. But, if you are planning for a baby, I strongly suggest aiming for the end of the year rather than the beginning of the year. You know, if you can plan those types of things.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-11061273709464815742016-10-17T08:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:57:43.490-05:00One Step at a TimeAs I grow older, but am still very young<br />
I take tiny steps forward,<br />
But I'm nowhere near done<br />
<br />
I can see more clearly, love more dearly,<br />
But still so easily<br />
Break down and blow up<br />
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<br />
My pride is much smaller<br />
But it's not small enough<br />
When things are good I ignore You<br />
Until times are tough<br />
<br />
One more step at a time<br />
Until this day is done<br />
Help me with this sin<br />
And tomorrow's to come<br />
Break me free from these walls<br />
Of my sin and my shame<br />
And hold me as I<br />
Take one step at a time<br />
<br />
When I am weak and brought down by sin<br />
The hurts I have caused<br />
And the pain that I'm in<br />
<br />
I can hate myself and hate this pain<br />
But the situation<br />
Will come up again<br />
<br />
My sins are much smaller<br />
But they still cause pain<br />
My heart is washed white when<br />
You remove the stainZoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-54893486682391520642016-07-21T07:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:58:27.968-05:00Dave Matthews Band - Live Trax Volume 16T.P. Creech (aka "hubby")<br />
<br />
I'm back again with another Live Trax review. This one is a favorite of mine.<br />
<br />
DMB Live Trax Volume 16<br />
06.26.2000<br />
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<br />
1) #41<br />
2) Warehouse<br />
3) One Sweet World<br />
4) Say Goodbye<br />
5) Jimi Thing<br />
6) Sweet Up and Down<br />
7) Typical Situation »<br />
8) Little Thing<br />
9) Grey Street<br />
10) Bartender<br />
11) Crush<br />
12) Drive In Drive Out<br />
13) The Song That Jane Likes<br />
14) JTR<br />
15) Too Much<br />
16) #40<br />
17) Digging a Ditch<br />
18) Two Step<br />
<br />
<br />
The last three Live Trax in the series (13-15) were all from the summer of 2008. For this album, the series returns to the summer of 2000 to give us the third release from that tour as well. This particular album was picked by the fan site antsmarching.org. I don't know how they got the right to pick the release nor do I have any idea if they had restrictions on what they could or couldn't pick.<br />
<br />
I'm really not one much for the DMB Internet Community (despite a series of blog posts to the contrary). I'm not one to message on boards, although I do occasionally lurk on them. I actually prefer thesedayscontinue.org the most as I feel more of the discussion is on the music and the releases there than anywhere else.<br />
<br />
I digress.<br />
<br />
This particular show is unique from the summer 2000 tour as it's the one of the early shows. Butch Taylor had not yet come on board (he would be there the next night) and the Lovely Ladies, who had been guesting since 1998 sporadically, did not show up for this show either (again, they would be there the next night). In that sense, it's the last show of the summer 2000 tour to feature the original five members (although Dan Myers did guest on three songs). In 2001, the very early shows followed the same mold and the last original five show was played.<br />
<br />
The release has a much different feel to it than its companion summer 2000 releases, volumes 3 and 11. The Lillywhite Sessions songs are much earlier in their development and have a really raw feeling to them. The most recent album, Before These Crowded Streets, also isn't showcased with only Crush making an appearance. It's very much a fan favorite set list with a few Lillywhite tunes thrown in.<br />
<br />
The show actually begins with a small tease of Little Thing as an introduction to #41. Warehouse has got to be the best second song in the catalog too. Both performances are fantastic here. One Sweet World, complete with instrumental introduction, is great as well. Say Goodbye is always a treat and it doesn't disappoint here.<br />
<br />
Jimi Thing features the middle section similar to the 1998 and 1999 versions and it's not a great groove. It feels too "stop and go" for me - it never really gets going. However, Leroi is fantastic on it and it finishes fine. Sweet Up and Down was a new song for the summer and basically disappeared after it was over. It's popped up occasionally since then but never like these early versions. The lyrics are complete gibberish but it's a great version.<br />
<br />
Typical Situation is fantastic early in the set and transitions into a substantial Little Thing performed solo by Dave. It's not quite the whole song, but it's close enough. It's a nice break in the middle of the set.<br />
<br />
Grey Street is up next and this particular version is of note as it's the only time (that I know of) during which the song had a story revolving around a male. However, it's obvious Dave is still figuring out where the song is ultimately going as he transitions later to "she" in the choruses. The lyrics are horrible - cringe worthy at some points - but the early groove of the song is present, as is a third verse. It's also the only released version of the song with the original 5 members so it's unique in that sense.<br />
<br />
Bartender is really in its infancy here as a full band piece and Dan Myers guests on the outro. It's not as strong here as it would become later in the summer but it's still a force to be reckoned with here. Crush is absolutely fantastic with a flute solo as was common in the early days of the song. Dan Myers also guests here (and JTR later in the set).<br />
<br />
I'll skip Drive In Drive Out to offer that The Song That Jane Likes is wonderful here. This is followed up with an early version of JTR which is very solid. The show ends with Too Much. If you have access to the IEM of this show (of which I do not condone - just saying), you can hear Dave indicating how he wants to "Too Much" the audience and get out of here. It's a funny moment.<br />
<br />
The encore is the weak part of this show. Although #40 is nice, it's a definite tease here and transitions into an early version of Digging a Ditch. Two Step ends the night. It's a long version (clocking in at over 15 minutes) but the ending gets boring and drags on way too much. By the end of the summer, the outros were much more controlled and urgent. Even still, it's 100 times better here than say, Central Park's Two Step.<br />
<br />
The show overall starts really well, is very solid in the middle, but drops off towards the end. The bass is really out of control on this particular mix (it rattles the windows in my car, and I drive a car with a standard crummy sound system - nothing should really rattle my windows at low volumes). But, it does sound like you're in the audience listening to it which is nice. The next few sound this way and it's a distinct change in how the Live Trax albums sound. It really sort of started on Live Trax 11, got much more pronounced in 14 and 15 before going full blown here in 16. For the most part, they haven't sounded the same since. I don't mind the sound. I wish the bass wasn't so heavy here, but it's certainly not a significant issue.<br />
<br />
Once again, this one is a purchase. It's 4/5 stars and is my second favorite release of this tour. Even though I give it a slightly lower rating that Live Trax 3, I get into moods where I really want to listen to the original 5 members playing together. This is a great example of this and about as late of a show that exists where I can do that. Plus, the sound of the Lillywhite Sessions songs at this point is nice. Because of all of that, occasionally I'll rank this one higher than Live Trax 3 as a go to for this tour. Make no mistake, Live Trax 3 is the better album. But if I'm in the mood, I'd prefer to have this.<br />
<br />
<br />
Recap:<br />
Live Trax 1: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 2: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 3: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 4: 3/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 5: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 6: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 7: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 8: 3/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 9: 0/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 10: 1/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 11: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 12: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 13: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 14: 2/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 15: 3/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 16: 4/5, purchase (52)<br />
<br />
Overall: 3.3/5, 11 purchase, 5 skipZoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-2976220048868305322016-07-17T08:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:59:22.116-05:00People Are HumanIf there's one thing I've been thinking of more than usual lately, it's the sad and strange fact that all of us are human. We hold some people up to higher standards for whatever reason (pastors, politicians, police, etc.) However, even those most austere and auspicious, are still only people. People with sin. People with personalities and passions. People with ideology and false theology and tendencies and past experiences and misinformation.<br />
<br />
Isn't it a beautiful and strange thing?<br />
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<br />
Yet, especially in our act-now, social-media world, it becomes so easy to defend our own humanity that we lambaste someone else's without realizing it. We can follow only those who agree with our opinion, and suddenly wonder why other people "in real life" are disagreeing with us, when all our online friends have the same opinion we do.<br />
<br />
So what do we do about this?<br />
<br />
Realize the beauty and sadness in humanity. We are all broken people. We all need a Savior. Those of us sitting in church pews are the rule, not the exception.<br />
<br />
Don't get caught up in pride of your own ideals. Take some time to consider the other point of view and love someone completely different than you. Spend more time in person than online. Pray for others, and yourself to be brought closer to Christ in humility, faith, and love.<br />
<br />
It doesn't need to be more complicated than that, but I'll finish off my point with a little free verse...<br />
<br />
<i>If you've lost your hope and faith,</i><br />
<i> seek solid ground.</i><br />
<i>If you get easily offended,</i><br />
<i> don't be.</i><br />
<i>If you hold onto your anger,</i><br />
<i> let it go.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Don't try to make the teaming, pulsing, organism of humanity into your foundation.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>You are not alone,</i><br />
<i> but don't think that you're better.</i><br />
<i>Your church, community, culture is</i><br />
<i> as big a mess of humanity as the rest.</i><br />
<i>Bumping and bouncing into one another</i><br />
<i> with offenses, opinions,m and personality galore.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Isn't life beautiful?</i>Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-21491839258817880742016-07-01T07:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:59:37.417-05:00Golden HandcuffsOne problem in our society today, is the "golden handcuffs" phenomenon. I'm sure you've heard of it before, assuming that it applied only to the very wealthy. In reality, I feel that the golden handcuffs apply to way more people in modern society than we might think. Essentially, what the term means, is that you've gotten used to living a certain lifestyle, which requires a certain income, and you can't see any way to make significant lifestyle changes so you are therefore "trapped" in your job indefinitely, unable to make career choices as you might otherwise.<br />
<br />
Why is this big deal? And why do I slap the label "religion" on this post?<br />
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Well, as a Christian, I can see how many "churched" people find no time to volunteer in the causes they care about. I see them unable to donate to the charities they claim to support. I see them stuck in a job where their lifestyle, morals, or family life is at significant risk. Jesus called us to go, but he didn't put qualifiers on it. He didn't say, go when you win the lottery. He didn't say, go when you've paid off the mortgage. Now, I'm not saying that Jesus wants everyone to give away so much money that their family is in danger, but He did call us to live differently. So what does living differently mean?<br />
<br />
For me, I've struggled with the past year in our new home with a new income. Not from a having enough money standpoint, but from having too much. It feels weird to me to be able to buy a small $5 or $10 treat for my kids without wondering if there is enough money. Now I do know that there's enough money, but that means that I feel a bigger responsibility to be doing wise things with that money.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying that we're wealthy by today's standards. We drive, and have always driven, used cars. We mow our own lawn. We shop sales and coupons at the grocery stores. We rarely buy clothing or shoes. I probably spent upwards of 5 hours comparison shopping for homeschool curriculum online to find the best deal, and determining which books to go without or which ones could be found at the library. Our household income is pretty much spot on to the median household income for our area, so why does it feel like we're suddenly rich?<br />
<br />
I think what a lot of families in our situation do, is that they look at the people ahead of them in lifestyle. They want to live as good as their parents do (you know, now that their parents have two solid incomes and no kids at home to feed). It got me thinking about what we should really be comparing our lifestyle to.<br />
<br />
So, if you want to break the golden handcuffs, here are some real world situations that you can strive for today.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>When I was little, my dad had a retail store job, and we had very little money. We got pencils and shirts for Christmas, with maybe one or two toys and we were happy. What little money my mom did make went to medical bills, and the ridiculous high housing payments caused by high interest rates during that time. We occasionally got bags of used clothes from neighbors and friends, and it didn't matter to me whether they were boy or girl clothes, I had no qualms wearing my brother's hand-me-downs if they made it that long. </li>
<li>My in-laws grew up in a poor, rural community. One of them grew up in a family of 12 kids, and they mostly shared one or two bedrooms. You had to go to bed early if you wanted to sleep on the mattress, and you certainly would be sharing it (the bed, not just the bedroom) with at least 3-4 others.</li>
<li>My father grew up in a tiny square 2-bedroom house on a farm in South Texas. When he was 12 or 13 he would drive the pick up truck across the border to pick up migrant workers for the day. If you drive to South Texas today, in the same town (now one of the fastest growing towns in Texas), you will drive past thousands and thousands of "McMansions". It's a little disconcerting to see the difference in just a few decades in lifestyle.</li>
<li>I recently read a book called "Half Broke Horses" about a woman born in 1902 and growing up mostly in the Southwest. If you want to read that book, you may feel a bit better about your kids sharing a bedroom, since at least you don't live in a dugout with one wooden wall and rattlesnakes and moles popping out of the dirt surrounding where you sleep and eat.</li>
</ol>
<div>
So, when you think of the "hardships" you are suffering financially, let's take a more realistic look at what is necessary and what is nice to have.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Necessary:</u></b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li> Food, but not all of it. Food. is critical to life on earth. Healthy foods are great and can lower your health costs in the long run. However, generally speaking, there is absolutely nothing you "need" at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods that you can't get an alternative for at Aldi's, Kroger or Food Lion. Some of the healthiest foods, are also the cheapest. Add some beans to your diet instead of meat one or two nights a week. Buy a huge container of oatmeal at Aldi's for $2 or so, and see what you can do with it. Start making a few of your higher priced convenience foods from scratch. Start a garden with a few seeds (the Dollar Tree has seeds in spring at $0.25 per packet). We've recently increased our food budget (because we have more income) to about $125 per week for a family of 4 (although our two kids are pretty small). </li>
<li>Clothing. Every person in your family likely needs 5-7 basic outfits of each type of clothing that is regularly needed and one or two pairs of each type of shoe needed. Any more than that is going to be considered a lifestyle choice. Now, my husband has a ton of dress clothes (enough to last him a month) but his parents bought most of them for him when he was graduating college, and we've only replaced a few items in the almost 10 years since then. If you were to look at our nice, new to us walk-in closet you would see about a one foot section of my "dress" clothes, and then all his dress clothes, and a few pairs of shoes I bought years ago and rarely wear. Most of the shelves are just storage for us (camping gear, pool gear, luggage, etcetera), because I have no idea who wears that many clothes, </li>
<li>Housing. Again, basic housing is a need, but people's definition of basic seems highly skewed since the 1950s. The average size of a new home in 1950 was 983 square feet (and families were larger back then). So, I think if you're looking for a 1,000 square foot, 2-bedroom house for your growing family, then you're on the right track. If not, then you are likely suffering from a golden handcuff situation. Now, we purchased a house about twice that size when we got an increase in income, and had some equity from our previous much smaller house. But honestly, the space in our current house doesn't always work better than our previous house which was 1100 square feet, and the kids are currently sharing a bedroom of their own volition. So the "necessary" housing is much less than what most of us currently have.</li>
<li>Transporation. For most people today, you need some type of transportation to get to work or the grocery store. Especially where we live, there are very few places to access public transportation. However, you do not need a car for every person over 16 in your family, and you probably don't need the giant gas-guzzling SUV. You certainly don't need a late-model car with under 60,000 miles (the way they build them today, if you buy quality, I would start looking for a new car when your current one reaches between 140,000-160,000 miles). Also, really analyze your daily trips. Most weeks I only travel about 30 miles total. That includes the library, park, and usually at least one trip to Aldi's. Some of that is our convenient housing location, and some of it is analyzing whether you really need to visit the special park or museum across town very often. Also, I hate driving more than 10 minutes with kids in my car, lol.</li>
<li>Medical care. Unfortunately, in today's world, medical costs are skyrocketing. The easy answer to this, is to take care of your own health. Exercise, eat healthy foods, don't eat fast food or sit around watching TV all day. The harder part is to look at our healthcare system a bit more closely and really analyze what our doctors are recommending. I plan another blog post about my apparent "pre pre hypertension" and how doctors are using prescription medicine to treat side effects of other medicine that is used to treat "illnesses" that were not illnesses ten years ago. So, try lifestyle changes, avoid unneeded medical costs, and try to convince our legislature to actually make a change that would fix the problems of pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies buying whatever they want in our government.</li>
<li>Entertainment. Guess what's free and healthy and fun? Nature! Take a hike, walk through your neighborhood, work in the yard, go to a park. Turn off the TV (and cut the cable cord) put your smart phone in the deep freezer, and get some free entertainment. People (including me) have become so addicted to our smart phones, that the average family spends HUNDREDS of dollars on cell phones and I can't imagine how many hours per day. My husband still has a dumb phone, and he's way more productive than I am. We don't really "need" those smart phones (in my case it was simply cheaper, and we don't buy new phones every year or pay anywhere close to hundreds or even fifties of dollars for it a month). Internet may be a necessity for some families, especially those like myself that work from home.</li>
</ul>
<div>
Have something not on my list? Then you probably don't need it! Well, that may not be entirely true. But if we really want to break out of the golden handcuffs, it's important to look at what's really necessary and what we just want to spend our money on. Everyone should have a few dollars a month of "fun money" to spend on whatever makes them happy, but in reality money will not make us happy, and those that spend unwisely will end up least happy in the long run.</div>
</div>
Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-14870859591982728812016-06-09T08:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T07:59:52.826-05:00Dave Matthews Band - Live Trax Volume 15DMB Live Trax Volume 15<br />
08.09.2008<br />
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<br />
1) Dancing Nancies<br />
2) Seek Up<br />
3) Proudest Monkey »<br />
4) Satellite<br />
5) So Damn Lucky<br />
6) Bartender<br />
7) Corn Bread<br />
8) Spoon<br />
9) Eh Hee »<br />
10) Water Into Wine<br />
11) Burning Down The House<br />
12) Louisiana Bayou<br />
13) Anyone Seen the Bridge » Too Much [fake] » Halloween » Water Into Wine [reprise]<br />
14) Out of My Hands<br />
15) Crush<br />
16) Money<br />
17) You Might Die Trying<br />
18) Ants Marching<br />
19) Don't Drink the Water »<br />
20) Two Step<br />
<br />
This is one of the most debated Live Trax in the series. Either you really love it or you just don't see what all the fanfare is about it. There aren't many inbetween.<br />
<br />
When it was originally announced, the artwork made mention of both this night and the following night as well. Everyone thought it was going to be a huge six disc set. Of course, it was going to be released along side the new album (Big Whiskey & The GrooGrux King). That would be two full concerts and a new album all on the same day! To top it off, these two shows in particular were cited as fans amongst the best of the tour (if not the very best).<br />
<br />
Well, although a few songs have been released from night 2, the initial indications about this particular release showcasing both nights did not come to pass. However, this particular release does feature a few unique selections from this tour not present on any of the previous 2008 releases.<br />
<br />
At this point in the tour, Jeff Coffin has really started to come into his own while filling in for Leroi during his injury. Tragically, within two weeks Leroi would pass away and Jeff would be taking the role full time.<br />
<br />
Dancing Nancies and Seek Up are both very strong here. It's actually the same start as Live Trax 3. The similarites between that album and this one end there, however.<br />
<br />
Proudest Monkey, with a fresh guitar solo, is considered by practically everyone to be the definitive version of the song. I don't really have a favorite version myself, but this one is very good. Satellite follows, with an extended So Damn Lucky and Bartender up next. Stunner, there's also a Corn Bread thrown in the mix.<br />
<br />
Up next is Spoon, a real rarity. It was played here for the first time in almost 5 years. It's rough (it tends to be rough anyway since it's played so infrequently), but it's good for a hardcore fan. Eh Hee is fairly standard and segues into Water Into Wine.<br />
<br />
Burning Down The House is up next and, up to this point, was unreleased by the band. I've commented before that they started to play this song so much that it sounds like one of their own. It's definitely an OK cover - nothing more, nothing less. Louisiana Bayou brings up the energy, but as a song it is still lacking to me.<br />
<br />
For those keeping track, the show is starting to get a little middling for me here in the middle.<br />
<br />
Out of nowhere, a stop-time (for lack of a better description) Anyone Seen The Bridge segues directly into Halloween. It's not the best Halloween, but it was starting to be played (it had long been the Holy Grail to catch a concert) and to have it come out of nowhere in the middle of a set is fantastic. It's still a little jarring to hear. The only one I've heard that was more jarring was the Everday introduction which abruptly changed into Halloween in Cincinnati also on this tour (it made Warehouse 8, Volume 8 if you're interested).<br />
<br />
It also segues into Water Into Wine, which is nicely placed afterwards.<br />
<br />
Out of my Hands is a downer for me so I'll skip it. The Crush, although a monster in length, is not exactly the same as it was earlier in the tour. It was probably cool to see live but it's my least favorite version of the released 2008 ones.<br />
<br />
Money, a Pink Floyd cover, didn't last long in the rotation of cover songs. It's for the best. It just doesn't fit. You Might Die Trying and Ants close out the main set, and there is a fantastic Don't Drink The Water and Two Step encore.<br />
<br />
It seems the story on this particular release is the number of rarities played (Spoon, Halloween, Water Into Wine, Out of my Hands) and the venue (Alpine is a HUGE venue for DMB). To me, the show set itself is okay but is certainly not the best I've ever seen. I think the release would've been much better had it included both nights. But, for a hardcore fan like myself, it's nice to have some of the rareties and seques (that Halloween seque is fantastic on the recording).<br />
<br />
The sound on this one is one of my least favorites. I'm not sure what it is that bothers me so much...it sounds boomy. It's certainly still a mixed live album so it's not terrible, but it's not what I hold up as an example of how I like an album to sound.<br />
<br />
<br />
I've giving this one a 3 out of 5 stars. Again, it's decent, and it's got some great songs, but it just never really comes altogether for me. Perhaps it's just me. I'd still offer that it's worth a purchase though because of the rareties.<br />
<br />
For the overall numbers, it's interesting to me that my average is right around 3 but I've only given 3 of the 15 releases a middle of the road rating. Regression to the mean, maybe? Or perhaps the initial criticism of the series as having some really high moments and some really low moments is holding truer than I initally thought. I'm still at a solid 2:1 ratio of purchase/skip. I'm definitely a fan.<br />
<br />
Recap:<br />
Live Trax 1: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 2: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 3: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 4: 3/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 5: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 6: 2/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 7: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 8: 3/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 9: 0/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 10: 1/5, skip<br />
Live Trax 11: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 12: 5/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 13: 4/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 14: 2/5, purchase<br />
Live Trax 15: 3/5, purchase<br />
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Overall: 3.2/5, 10 purchase, 5 skipZoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-83808621074783510192016-06-08T08:00:00.000-05:002017-06-06T08:00:07.552-05:00My Own RacismUnfortunately, I think the problem of racism won't completely go away, until we acknowledge the subtle forms of racism that take place everyday. Yes, there are big issues, but people tend to ignore the big issues. They assume the severe cases of racism are just a "bad apple" here or there and neglect to address their own, more subtle brand of racism.<br />
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Even supposedly "progressive" people, writing a story about a teacher in a low-income neighborhood who ends up with an unplanned pregnancy at about the same time as one of her students, whether the movie-maker's did it on purpose or not, the teacher asked the girl what she was going to do about her baby (if she knew all her "options"), but no one asked the white teacher what she was going to do with her unplanned pregnancy.<br />
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Hmm, so if a black girls gets pregnant, we assume she should at least be willing to abort it (I mean that was the initial purpose of Planned Parenthood after all) but a white woman should not have that same assumption? When the girl turned it around on her and asked the same question, she seemed almost surprised.<br />
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Or, an another less serious topic, my husband wanted to go for a run, and I needed to get out of the house, so my oldest son rode his bike next to his dad while he ran, while I followed (walking) with the 3 year old in the stroller. Eventually, it looked like just me walking along a busy road, with a 3 year old in a beat up old fold and go stroller. However, I can almost guarantee that 80%+ of people driving by assumed I was out for exercise (even sans jogging stroller or workout clothes) whereas, in a different neighborhood, a different colored woman my age with young kids, would be assumed to be just not having access to a car.<br />
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Racism does go both ways, I have experienced some reverse racism. Some was funny (you must be a debt collector to be knocking on doors in this neighborhood) and some was not so funny (girl, you so white you look dead). But the point is, that we all have at least a little bit of racism in our hearts, minds, and actions.<br />
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So, what do we do about this?<br />
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<ol>
<li>Acknowledge. Admit to yourself that you are capable of racism. Don't say that you don't see color, because you do. This will cause you to be more aware of those supposedly minor thoughts or reactions you may be making subconsciously.</li>
<li>Act, don't react. When something happens around you that seems a bit racist, act on the side of right, without reacting. Let your friends and family (I know that one is hard) know that you don't stand for even subtle forms of racism. Even if that's what you were thinking yourself it's not an appropriate way of thinking and everyone needs to change their thoughts. Don't react in a negative or harsh manner, just stand up on the side of justice and peace.</li>
<li>Be Aware. If you are aware of your own capabilities, you will be more likely to handle situations appropriately. If your problem is people in turbans, visit an area where more of them live and go to the specialty restaurants, marketplaces, and libraries to learn more about their culture. Talk to someone at the park who is a different color than you (if there isn't anyone of a different color, find a different park, or go at a different time of day). If someone needs help, help them regardless of color (or don't help them regardless of color, if you feel they are trying to take advantage of people - I had a white man accost my family for gas money in the Kroger parking lot, and I almost called the cops on him before he drove off).</li>
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Hopefully, if we all look at changing our thoughts and actions, we can start to make a real difference in this problem. It's not a "them" problem, it's an "us" problem, and we need to work together to fix it. I know that a lot of people feel the problem should be fixed already, but we have a much longer history of racism in this country than we do of anti-racism. The civil rights movement only started when my parents were children, so these deep cultural issues won't be resolved overnight. There is a history of hundreds of years of pain and shame regarding race in our country, so really, do you have the right to stand by and stay silent any longer?</div>
Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-37961793039260119072016-06-06T09:00:00.000-05:002016-06-07T06:33:58.866-05:00Pro Everyone's ChoiceI've seen a few disturbing things from supposedly "Pro-choice" people lately. Mainly, their arguments are completely invalid, but they are looking for every excuse in the book. Here are two examples:<br />
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<ol>
<li>The first example comes from an article circulating around Facebook. I have no idea why the article was even circulating because it was completely illogical. Basically, the article was from a doctor who said abortion should be legal and then went on to describe a very sad miscarriage of a 20 week old baby that wasn't initiated by any doctor, but couldn't be stopped. Here's the thing, that particular situation doesn't meet any requirements at all of the pro-life vs. "pro-choice" debate. Yes, doctors use the term abortion for miscarriage, so technically my own medical records list an abortion (spontaneous). Spontaneous means that the baby was coming and couldn't be stopped (and in my case had already passed away). So, yes, "spontaneous abortions" will still happen because you can't save a baby's life if it's not in God's plan to do so. That's an absolutely ridiculous argument. I believe this doctor was attempting to nitpick over the "medical necessity" clause that most pro-lifers actually agree with, when in reality, he couldn't even find an example from his own experience to use. The truth is that only 7% of those who had abortions (according to a Planned Parenthood affiliated survey) were due to a perceived risk of the mother or baby's health (according to doctors the true "medical necessity" number is likely closer to 1%). </li>
<li>Next, I was reading something else a pro-lifer had posted to their Facebook page (not inflammatory at all, just talking about how important it is to consider all life valuable). And a comment on there was "what about a woman who is raped?" Again, playing on emotions here. Most pro-lifers also make exceptions for women who are raped. However, according to the same Planned Parenthood affiliated survey, less than 0.5% reported that as a reason for having an abortion, and again, I think almost all pro-lifers agree that exceptions should be made for women in those situations.</li>
</ol>
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So what's the final breakdown of numbers according to the 2004 study? Over 92% of women reported that "social" or "other" factors contributed to their abortions. "Other" included mainly such things as being financially unable to afford another child, "not being ready", or other personal career and family goals.</div>
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So here's the thing, I have two kids of my own, and they do make life more difficult. They also make my life abundantly more precious. They've taught me more in about 6 years than a dozen self help books that I could have tried to read. I'm sure that living with the guilt, shame, and stress of an abortion isn't easy either. Rather than making abortion socially acceptable and the "common" thing to do, why don't we make parenting skills classes, affordable daycare, and maternity leave the more "common" things. Why do we discount the life of a child simply because we can't see him or her? </div>
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I am absolutely pro-choice, but not in the way you think. I am a huge proponent of allowing and encouraging women to make the difficult choice. To close their legs and say "No." If it's sex with someone you wouldn't want to raise a child with, don't do it. If you aren't old enough to raise a child, don't do it. If you just don't think you're quite ready for a child yet, but you might be, then use double protection until you're definitely ready. And no, you will never be ready for the changes that come with a child, but the thing that most women don't understand is that you can't take away the consequences of your decisions so easily. </div>
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One final note, for those that say that my viewpoint contributes to the overpopulation of the world, or keeping people in the cycle of poverty. There are ways to prevent pregnancy, and those ways absolutely should be utilized to the full extent of their ability. There are also plenty of people unable to have children, and who would love to adopt, so if you truly can't raise a child, let someone adopt them. I have a heart that breaks for a woman who finds herself in a situation where she doesn't feel she can care for any more children, but there are other options, and other resources. Abortion does not have to be the only answer, and it certainly shouldn't be the first.</div>
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Oh, and if you are so concerned about the population of the world, the real way to fix that is to create multiple civil wars or genocide across the world, and I don't see anyone "fighting" for those rights.<br />
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Sources: <a href="http://www.nrlc.org/archive/news/2005/NRL10/NewStudy.html">Planned Parenthood Study</a></div>
Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-20381056900186515232016-05-04T08:00:00.000-05:002016-05-04T08:00:13.150-05:00A Community FeelI've noticed a lot of churches and towns try really hard at building community. The towns or areas of town throw community block parties, or host festivals. The churches have sermons on reaching out to new people and making them feel comfortable. You may have even tried to have community yourself by following a list of ideas and then trying to replicate that process over and over until you can build community.<br />
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However, I've noticed in my life, none of that has really seemed to work in the past. When I went to a large church in a large city, I did all the right things. I volunteered, I joined small groups, I talked to my neighbors and had part-time jobs to meet people. I joined mom's groups and tried to follow all the "how to make a friend" lists out there. Sadly, after nearly 8 years, I still had only a tiny handful of close friends who I could count on to help out in a crisis (and some of them were moving away at the same time we were). It was incredibly difficult, to say the least, putting myself out there day after day, and not getting anywhere in my goal of building relationships and friendships.<br />
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I had pretty much given up, when we moved to the Raleigh, NC area to be closer to family and because of a great job opportunity. We first moved to the North Hills area. It was temporary housing, and I thought I would try it out. Because if it's the place everyone wants to live, then it must have some great community vibe and be a great place to meet people. That's when I realized where I had gone wrong. The place to meet people is not the "nice areas" of town. The place to meet people and build community is in the middle ground.<br />
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So, since you can do all the right things, and still not have community, what should you do? Well, don't give up, but also keep these key traits in mind for building community.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Percentage of People. Community by definition cannot be something you do yourself. A large percentage (in my estimation a minimum of 5-10%) of the people living in the area or within the organization need to be naturally community focused (more on that later).</li>
<li>Self-sufficient, but not self-contained. A community must be self-sufficient in order to truly be a community. However, it does not need to be self-contained. For instance, I usually go to the library, grocery store, doctor, coffee shop, fast food, and more in "our town". However, that doesn't mean that I don't invite community members from my community to go with me to other areas of town and do fun things. We are self-sufficient, but we don't have an idea that other places (or people from other places) are in any way less than we are.</li>
<li>Community Minded People. What does this mean? It can mean several things, but this is what I think of when I think of a community minded person. </li>
<ul>
<li>1) Open hearted. Willing to let someone see the true you and being willing to look honestly at the other person in return with an open heart. </li>
<li>2) Working together. Being willing to ask for and receive help, regardless of the situation. </li>
<li>3) Outgoing. Again, not everyone in the community needs to have this trait, but many people in the community need to be willing to start the conversation, or you will lose whatever you have built within a few weeks or months. </li>
<li>4) Welcoming. This is a bit different than open hearted. This comes before open hearted does. People must be willing to welcome those who are new, strange, or different. This is more than a "greet you at the door" church. To me, being welcoming is an understanding that you are not better than the stranger you see. It's welcoming that person first and always as an equal, no matter their story, town, or creed. For instance, I was at a mom's group event that had a Facebook invite, and I didn't personally know anyone there. It was 30 minutes from my house. The moms all sat in a cluster, or circle, with their backs to any new people. They made snide comments about how, "at least in this town" they could leave their purses laying around and nothing would happen here. Most of the kids had no such problem or preconception about outsiders. My kids were playing with their kids and had a great time, but not one of the adults in this "mom's group" welcomed someone who was clearly an outsider. It definitely made me glad that I hadn't moved to that particular town.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
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I hope this helps the next time you are looking to build a new community, or improve your currrent community. The biggest thing, I think, is getting that initial momentum going. If you don't have enough people on board with this idea of building community, you will fail. Community, by definition, cannot be done alone.</div>
Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-82734147444258053292016-04-29T08:00:00.000-05:002016-04-29T08:00:05.914-05:00Two Big ThingsIf I could change only two things in this country today, this is what I would pick.<br />
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1) No person working for government can accept any type of gift - including campaign donations personally. Basically, NCAA standards would apply to anyone in federal government. If it's wrong for a college student to accept help paying rent or an electric bill, then it's wrong for a government official making $170,000 to accept hotel stays, rental cars, $1,000 meals, and more. All campaign donations should be made anonymously to avoid the current process of kickbacks and corruption.<br />
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2) Pharmaceutical sales representatives would not be allowed to verbally transmit any information regarding their products. All product information must be written (or digital) and approved by the company's legal department. Also, they would be prevented from "bringing food" and other gifts of that nature to doctors and hospitals. The cost of many drugs has risen exponentially over the past several years. And drugs are being offered to patients with by doctors who have absolutely no idea what the drug does, but the pharmaceutical rep said "it has everything" so it must be the best.<br />
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As an example, I was offered by my physician in Louisville a prescription to take a prenatal supplement to help with my B-12 deficiency. She said it "had everything" so it would be the best one (I wasn't actually pregnant or trying to become pregnant at the time, this was before our first child). After doing some research on this expensive, name-brand vitamin, I realized that not only did it NOT have ANY B-12, but it had very few vitamins and minerals. It also was high in folic acid which can interact badly and interfere with the absorbency of B-12. So, instead, I chose a sublingual over the counter B-12 supplement, for a tiny fraction of the price. Not everyone has the ability or capacity to check behind their doctor on every recommendation, or even to price check for lower price options.<br />
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Hence, the average monthly cost of drugs to treat cancer patients has "inexplicably" climbed from an average of $1,800 per month for drugs launched in 2000 to over $11,000 PER MONTH for drugs launched in 2014. So, which drugs do you think those "sweet, nice" pharmaceutical reps are advocating for in their weekly lunch meetings with doctors and hospitals?<br />
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Yes, if all this happened, a lot of jobs would likely be lost. But I think we would also have a lot better laws in this country, a lot lower costs for prescriptions and healthcare, and a lot more peace of mind about our government, and our doctors.Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742143.post-48156364073785212092016-04-27T08:00:00.000-05:002016-04-27T08:00:15.026-05:00The Best Schools - Not the Best ScoresI know some of you are tired of the ever-present "crazy, homeschool mom" posts. So, I thought I would change things up a bit with a post that applies to public or private schools.<div>
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Having been a teacher (briefly) at one of the lowest performing public schools in Louisville, KY, I thought I would share my "best practices" and "pet peeves" for choosing a "best school" for your child (if you don't homeschool of course).</div>
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<div>
<u><b>Pet Peeves</b></u></div>
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<ul>
<li><b>Choosing a school based on test scores alone. </b>Test scores are primarily affected by the income level of the students at the school, not the teaching or administrative qualities of a particular school. If you look at test scores alone, you could end up sending your child to a really terrible school that happens to have a lot of rich kids AND missing out on an opportunity for your child to become a leader in a diverse community and learn a lot more than their multiplication facts.</li>
<li><b>Choosing a school based on "pricing out" students. </b>Unfortunately, some people still subscribe to the theory that a school is higher quality if it costs more money. The school will obviously point to higher test scores, college admittance, and low class size. However, there is no correlation between dollars spent per student and a better education (once average income is taken into consideration).</li>
<ul>
<li><b>Choosing a school based on extra-curriculars.</b> Don't choose the school based solely on the soccer team, or marching band or anything else lik<b>q</b>e that. You can definitely make it a factor in your decision, but it shouldn't be the only factor. Your child that wanted to be on the top soccer team in the county may drop out after their first year to focus on their year round team. The child that really wanted to join the flag team may find themselves joining the marching band instead to be with their friends. And your STEM loving student may end up enjoying the violin more by the time they finish up at a particular school. You never know!</li>
</ul>
<li><b>Choosing a school based on your personality, not your child's. </b>Don't choose the arts school for your non-artsy child just because you want them to be like you. Don't choose the STEM school just because your husband is an engineer. Don't choose the "open" model school for your Type A child or the foreign language immersion school just because "you were never good at languages either". In the same vein, don't eliminate a school based on your personality either.</li>
<li><b>Choosing a school (or not) based on the personality of one person at the school.</b> One of my acquaintances mentioned that they didn't pick a certain school because they just "really didn't like the attitude" of the principal. Now, normally this could be a concern, but knowing the particular person, I'm pretty sure the attitude was more a consequence of my acquaintance's attitude rather than the principal's, if you know what I mean.</li>
<li><b>Not doing any research whatsoever on your child's school. </b>I know people who say things like, "I went to X school as a kid, and had a great experience, so I'm really glad my grandkids are going there too." That may be true that the school was great 40 years ago, but, unfortunately, schools that were great 40 years ago could be awful today, and vice versa.</li>
<li><b>Making a decision without visiting (preferably with your child).</b> At the very least, you ought to be able to take a school tour with a principal or administrator once your narrow your list down. That's where you find out how the school really is. That's where you see the true attitude issues of the principal (in dealing with students) and the true safety issues or educational concerns or facilities/transportation questions. You can also typically see whether you child's personality and learning style will mesh with what's going on at the school.</li>
</ul>
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<u><b>Best Practices</b></u></div>
</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Before visiting any schools - make a list of what you are looking for. At a minimum take notes on your child's personality, learning styles, and any skills or special interests your child may have (athletics, foreign language, STEM, etc.)</li>
<li>Make a "Short list" based on location (near home or work), transportation options, and familiarity (knowing a friend, neighbor, or teacher at the school already). Keep this list at least 5 schools, but aim for no more than 10 unless you are in a very large district with a LOT of options. DO NOT make this list based on demographics or test scores.</li>
<li>Narrow the short list down by reviewing the school websites and visiting your districts "school fair". It's great to have a "short list" before you visit the school fair or you might fall in love with a school that's 45 minutes across town with no transportation availability - or you may just be overwhelmed at the sheer number if you visit a "Showcase of schools" with no plan in place.</li>
<li>Visit at least 3-4 schools. Check out the buildings, the traffic pattern, the classrooms/teachers (if possible). Review the policies, class schedule, textbooks/materials used, extracurricular activities offered, and general personality of the school. I know I vetoed one high school because the principal snatched a sucker out of a girl's mouth while we were on the "school tour". </li>
<li>Keep an open mind and honestly assess each school based on your criteria - style of learning, style of discipline, educational philosophy, and more. Look at your list honestly. You may not write down "race" as an issue, but ask yourself honestly when you are thinking about crossing a school off the list if the reason you are crossing it out is objective or subjective. We can complain about busing and go to school board meetings and be upset about the "lack of diversity" in our communities, but all it really comes down to in the end for most of us is a more genteel and underhand version of "white flight".</li>
</ol>
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So, don't tick off your friendly neighborhood blogger. Make your school choices wisely, but remember, there's always next year if you change your mind.</div>
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Zoranianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08326265534488903637noreply@blogger.com0