Tales From Another Planet

I've posted about this before, especially regarding homeschool versus public school. However, with the advent of my son's 5 year old check up (including the doctor's comments on our choice of school) and the back-to-school adventures of friends and acquaintances, I thought another post was due. First, socialization should be a concern of every parent, whether their children are in public school or homeschool. However, the concerns a parent may have in either case, are very different, and I would argue that neither option automatically "solves" the problem of socialization. What type of socialization are we talking about?

            After a somewhat restless night’s sleep, Karen determined on a course of action to the best of her ability. Her curiosity wouldn’t let her completely trust the Wellbrooke’s, despite Miles’ specific instructions. But she also knew she would need their help in order to do whatever it was that she was supposed to do here in Kentucky . The smell of coffee floated upstairs at around 6:00am, and because she wasn’t sleeping anyway, she headed down to try to get some energy for the day ahead. She had decided that she wouldn’t need to change the locks or worry about the Kentucky property, but she was still wondering why Miles had sent her all this way.             Over steaming cups of black coffee, she chatted with Marybelle, but couldn’t determine much from her. She could tell Marybelle was very positive and friendly, but there were times when the conversation would r...

Theoretically, Facebook should make it easier to make new friends. And sometimes it does. But you can't even truly consider someone your friend until you've met them in person. Why? Because you can't know who they really are. I can assume that I will like or dislike someone based on their Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest accounts (I'm getting old, so forgive me if I've left anything truly important out). Maybe you even read their blog or follow their podcast, and you think, "I'm really getting to know this person and like what I see". The thing is, that no matter how honest or emotional or verbose they may be online, they may be a completely different person in real life. Even the first few times meeting a new potential friend can feel a little awkward One or both of you may put on a facade and not be your true self (just as many people do when they are dating). I can feel strange and you still don't truly know that person.

This is a double post, about self-discipline and discipline for kids. I have very little self-discipline. I've been trying this whole "no added sugar" thing, and completely polished off the leftover cookies from Daniel's birthday party. I start things (exercise programs, flossing my teeth, reading my Bible) and never get into a good enough habit that I continue them. It's frustrating to say the least, but even more so when my husband has the self-discipline of 10 men. So, I keep chugging along and "try hard" and nothing changes. Here's the real kicker, though: as Christians we are to live as new creations. So my old self will pass away and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So what's my excuse now? Obviously, I'm human, as we all are, and I have my failings and sin in my life, but maybe instead of "working harder" to improve an area of my life, I just need to love harder, pray harder, and let God do the work ...

It seems really cute when someone puts a comment on a new baby post that says, "here come the sleepless nights". But then, the sleepless nights really do come. And what they don't tell you, is that they don't ever stop! I only have two kids, so I can't imagine people that have more than that ever get any sleep. Why am I not sleeping? Well, the first is just the random factor. Odds are, at least once or twice a week, each child will be up in the early am (5am or so) and not be able to get back to sleep. Or they will have a nightmare or hear a noise and come snuggle with mom and dad. This part I don't mind as much. Why else am I not sleeping? Because my toddler is trying to drive me insane with sleep deprivation! When we first moved to our new house, I was so proud of how well he slept, because he's always been a bit of a difficult sleeper. Well, that was a mistake - the pride. Somehow, he's gotten it in his head that bedtime is now 11:00pm. Nothing ...

For the purposes of this post, I'm using the Merriam-Webster definition of post-modern "of, relating to, or being a theory that involves a radical reappraisal of modern assumptions about culture, identity, history or language." First, I want to say that there is truly nothing new under the sun. We seem to think that we are the only "post-modern" society, when anyone who has actually studied theology, philosophy or history, knows the cyclical nature of the world we live in. Second, I want to point out a few fallacies of a post-modern theology or moral stand. For the first part, if you are familiar with your Bible, you may associate "nothing new under the sun" with Ecclesiastes. If you have read Ecclesiastes or Job, you will see several examples of "post-modern" thinking from approximately 950 years before Christ.

Chapter Four After almost six hours in the car, even Karen was starting to feel a little stir-crazy. Justin had taken a turn at the wheel, and Karen was trying to figure out the directions. “How many miles did you say we started at on the odometer for this road?” She asked. “It said 150.6 when we turned on this road. We haven’t even seen a gas station in thirty minutes, where do these people fill-up?” Justin glanced from green hills to an  old farmhouse with a dirt driveway and then back at his odometer. “So we’ve gone about 32 miles on this road. What did your directions say again?” “Well, the directions said 25 miles, but I didn’t see the correct road number. When we passed through the main town the street numbers started going up again, so I think the address should be a little further down the road. Scott pulled up the directions and he said he saw a west highway 70 and an east highway 70. He thought the farm was at East highway 70, but he wasn’t sure.” “Well thanks ...

The other night, I took a bath in the evening without my kids screaming and banging on the door. My husband is a saint. And I'm not one of those people who call time spent with Dad, babysitting. I believe fathers should play a very active role in their child's growth and development. However, it does take a special hand to keep young kids away from their Mom, when they know she's in the house. The bath was part of my new attempt at handling my stress. Since I'm currently trying to deal with my sugar addiction (and maybe sometime soon, my smart phone addiction), I was not handling the stress of our second week of homeschool plus a sick 2-year old very well. Our second week of homeschool had a few more hiccups, mainly due to my youngest child's illness and me not getting to the library. However, I feel like I saved the day a couple times with some fun "couch time" activities such as guess and spell the word (Hangman + I Spy + phonics) and some good old-f...

A lot of people lately have been taking a big stand for the environment, which I think is great. One of the side effects, is that buying used clothing no longer has such a stigma attached to it. Which, I personally think is a great thing. I came from a household where I very rarely had any new clothing (and it wasn't because we were hippies). I remember one big shopping trip for new clothes before 7th grade since I would be going to public school for the first time (boy was that exhausting). My point is, that you can get by just fine without having a ton of "new" clothes. I've found a couple great deals lately that have helped me manage to avoid buying new clothes that my active preschool boys would soon outgrow or tear to pieces. And I've also gifted some gently used clothes (it was at a baby shower, and other than not having tags, I'm not sure anyone could tell that they were used, I did get prior permission from the baby shower host). So, how have I fou...

When certain people hear that I'm planning on homeschooling my kids, they automatically assume that I must hate public education. I'm actually a big believer in the power of public education. However, I've also seen it's failures. When I was a public school teacher, I saw things that the news would have written a segment about calling for the school to be closed. At least they would have, if that school were in a different neighborhood. There are certain schools that people don't want to send their kids too, and teachers don't want to teach at, and principals don't want to be in charge of for very long. How do we change these failures of the public education system? It's not always the neighborhood, sometimes it's just the reputation a school has. I think the No Child Left Behind Act was correct to some extent, in trying to identify these failing schools and get them shut down. But instead of being shut down, they are simply being "re-brande...

I haven't been perfect in my goal to cut down on sugar. With my 2-year old suffering from the stomach bug, I gave in and ate a couple pieces of chocolate to help deal with the stress. I made some energy bites, which have been taking the edge off of the chocolate cravings, but my stress levels just got to be too much. I've been thinking lately about how to truly change yourself, and I've come to realize a few things. First, everyone wants to change something about themselves, even if they look perfect. There's a reason that self-help books are always best-sellers. Yet, we haven't quite figured out how to truly help ourselves yet. Second, you have to know yourself. My husband and I were talking through some things, and he said that he thought some of it might just take time. As we grow older and have more time and experience under our belts we should have a better knowledge of ourselves and a better framework from which to act. Third, you can't truly chan...

Karen filled Christine in with the background on Miles, but obviously hadn’t prepared her for the kicker. “Miles was killed recently, and I’m now in charge of his estate.”             Christine almost choked on an ice chip. “What? I thought you were going to tell me he asked you out. The guy is dead? I’m glad I was sitting down!”             “Sorry, I thought I’d mentioned that part earlier this week. I guess we haven’t had a chance to talk much with everything else that’s been going on.”             “You mean with me being out late four out of five nights this week. I guess you could say we haven’t. I can’t believe you didn’t wake me up that first morning though. That’s huge news. Why would you want to go through that all alone?”             Karen shrugged. At ...

This one is personal for me, but I'll try not to over share too much. I'm sure most people assume I'm healthy because I'm at a healthy weight, and I generally have been healthy in the past. However, I don't exercise a lot (I know, hate me now). The truth is, that someone who's at a healthy weight, but doesn't exercise or eat right is not as healthy as someone who exercises and eats right, but is overweight. And that's what I learned at my doctor appointment this week. Now, I'm not unhealthy either, but I had a lot of "borderline" numbers on my latest blood work. The only one that was technically "bad" was my HDL or good cholesterol. The two biggest takeaways my doctor left me with were to eat fewer processed foods, especially sugar, and to exercise more. The problem is that I do have an addictive personality. One of my addictions is to sugar. It's a way I handle stress. It's a way I cope with boredom. And it's also...

I remember being angry when I read an article (about raising children) that said that pretty much no matter what path you chose, your kids would grow up okay, so you shouldn't worry about it too much. That was the gist of the comment, but in context it felt like a slap in the face to those of us who try so hard to raise our children. Here's the thing, kids do grow up. One day they will figure out how to live in society and get along with others. But what a horrible childhood and adolescence if they have no one to help them out along the way! I was talking with my husband the other day about this, and he said there's a difference between growing up and being raised. That hit me pretty hard. Now, I'm not saying I'm a parenting expert, or that I'm doing a better job of raising my kids than another parent with their kids. I'm only saying that we shouldn't let it take a back seat to everything else that is going on in our life. I know that some parent...

Personally, my family does not follow a gluten free diet. However, I know many people that do. Rather than get into a disagreement about whether or not it's a good plan for a specific person to be on, since I'm not a doctor, I thought I would list a "budget" meal plan for gluten free, since it seems that most foods that claim to be gluten free are more expensive. I will briefly say, that if a gluten-free diet is something that you're trying because of behavior issues with your children, or anything other than a diagnosed gluten allergy or sensitivity, that you may want to consider other options first, such as reduced screen time, fewer processed foods, and eliminating food dye. Gluten is in many very healthy foods, so please don't avoid gluten just because it worked for someone else. As a basic run-down, gluten is a part of the grain and is especially found in wheat (including durum, spelt, farina, and farro), rye, and barley. So, the easiest answer is to ...

My almost five year old participated in his entire baseball practice on Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised, because it has definitely been "hit or miss" previously. However, when they were practicing without hitting the ball, he instinctively stopped when they told him to run the bases. They had him swing with an imaginary bat at an imaginary ball and then told him to run to first base. His response, "Why?" I can understand what he was thinking. If I didn't actually hit the ball, why should I run to first base? Sometimes kids can ask some pretty perceptive questions. If we truly think about our lives, do we really deserve to be where we're at? If we haven't hit it out of the ballpark at our jobs, do we deserve this big house or nice car? If we haven't worked out our own personal failings, do we deserve this responsibility of bringing up these kids and their entire future resting in our hands? Today's society seems to be telling us tha...

            On a Saturday morning, only a few days after her official appointment as personal representative, Karen sat down with a thick accordion file. Scott had offered to take care of some of the paperwork for her, but Karen felt like this was something Miles had wanted her to do on her own. She still wasn’t sure why, but there must be something more than their casual acquaintance connecting her to Miles. Although finding a link to Miles in this dry, dusty legal file seemed a little far-fetched, she knew she had to start somewhere. She definitely did not want to go into his bloodstained house. Scott had told her that the crime scene team had changed the locks when they completed their job and she now had the only key. With everything secured, she could put off the house for another day.             She settled back into her cozy recliner. Not one to splurge much, she was glad she had purchased th...

I know I have the dreaded M word in a blog post again. Here's the thing, though. That which we ignore or avoid we kill. I try to be a gardener, but inevitably, time slips away. My basil plant is looking pretty wilted since it hasn't rained in awhile, and it's too hot. It should probably be watered daily right now since it's in a pot on the deck. Or maybe should find a shady spot for a few days in the heat of the afternoon. There's also a large flower on one of the basil stems, which means it will die even sooner now. The annuals I planted near my mailbox look very wilted, I'm not sure if they have a disease or just need water too. The tomato plants need better staking, the sunflowers are about to tip over, and I already pulled up the bean plants because I didn't have time to keep harvesting (but I do have a nice gallon size bag of fresh green beans in the freezer). But wait, this is supposed to be a marriage post, not a gardening post, what's up wi...

When I was a financial counselor, I saw quite a few people who had big budgets, small budgets, no budgets, and everything in between. I've come across quite a few budgeting personalities, although this is by no means an exhaustive list. Rollercoaster. This is the person who lives on rice and beans for 3 months only to blow it all on a luxury car and expensive apartment. I was going to use the heading bi-polar, but then I realized that was offensive, and many of my clients actually were diagnosed as bi-polar. If you truly cannot control these impulses, please seek the care of a psychiatrist or mental health professional. For those of us who just do it out of habit, try not going quite so far into rice and beans territory. During your "cheap" phase, save up a small sum of money each week as your "blow money" or as we call it in our house the adult allowance. This way, when you want to spend again, you have something available and don't go into debt. Also, ...

I know that this is two "homeschool" type posts in a row. However, this is also a moving/personal commentary as well. I'm sure everyone runs a cost/benefit analysis before moving, right? Well, I was thinking that with a higher house payment and potentially higher utility costs (according to the online surveys, but really I haven't seen higher utilities yet) our cost of living would increase slightly. However, I've found that I have actually been spending less on gas and transportation than I forecast (although that has the small potential to increase depending on which location my husband moves to permanently). The other benefit that I didn't really factor in, and that is hard to put a value on, is cultural opportunity. The greater Raleigh area has such a vast wealth of free or low-cost educational and/or cultural opportunities that I'm honestly a bit overwhelmed right now. I knew of several (the free state museums downtown), but I wanted to get together...

A lot of people have been posting lately on Facebook about getting their homeschool rooms finished. I have a couple empty shelves waiting to see what I want to do, but for now, I think I'm pretty well set, so I figured I would share. Also, I know there are many of you who have asked for new house pictures. Well, I will have to do those one room at a time. With two young kids, it is extremely difficult for more than one room of my house to be photo ready at any given moment. Here's the picture of our sunroom/guest room/homeschool room! There are actually a few shelves that still have more room, and we're down to about 1/2 a box left to unpack in the house, so I feel pretty proud of our moving expertise. Our "Weather Center" and "Work Station" Notice the empty shelf and globes/maps