Tales From Another Planet

My third child was recently born, and things did not go exactly as I had hoped. We had been "on the fence" with the doctors for several months: placenta previa, low lying placenta, in and out of the hospital several times with bleeding issues. We finally were graduated from low lying placenta and conservatively told we could do a "trial of labor" at the beginning of January. As my due date approached at the end of January, we were feeling pretty positive about our attempt at a third natural labor and birth. The Braxton Hicks contractions were ramping up, our doula was on standby, and given my history of rather large babies, we decided to schedule a membrane sweep to try to get the party started a few days before my due date. Unfortunately, we belatedly realized that with bleeding issues, a membrane sweep may not have been the best choice. There was no immediate bleeding, but about 8 hours later, as contractions began coming fast and strong, the bottom dropped ou...

I think one of the most interesting things about homeschooling compared to trying to teach in a public classroom, is the easy ability to adjust based on a child's learning style. It's quite a monumental effort in a large classroom to even determine learning styles, much less meet each child's needs. While I don't actively homeschool my 3 year old, he is almost 4 now, and definitely wants to participate in school. Of course, his learning style and personality is almost a complete opposite of my oldest.

A few recent comments from church members and small group members has created some deep thinking recently regarding diversity in family and parenting styles in the church. As any of my long-term blog followers know, at one point I struggled with judgment towards others. My Meyers Brigg personality is a borderline I/E but a very strong NTJ, especially that big fat J. Fortunately, part of being a Christian is growth and development through the working of the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and other Christians. As a late teenager and young adult, I was able to almost completely resolve my fear/judgment cycle (because I judged others, I feared their judgment towards me and became very hesitant and reserved).

As I come to the final few weeks of pregnancy with our third child (a third boy of course), I have been wondering about those people who hope to have the "first baby of the year". I was a bit disappointed not to have a December baby (obviously, I hope he bakes long enough to be healthy) when I ended up in the hospital shortly after Christmas and thought about all the benefits of having a baby in December rather than January. He was pretty close to being fully cooked, so he probably could have avoided a long stay in the hospital, so I thought about all the benefits and drawbacks of December versus January babies.

My oldest has been joking a bit lately that mom is the "non-fun" one and dad is the "fun one". Some of this is his age (5.5 years old) some of it is an increase in behavior problems lately, but some of it is actually true, Now, I'm not going to lie and say that being a Mom is naturally stress free and all you have to do is let go a little and you'll magically feel better. But, as a fellow GMS sufferer (Grumpy Mom Syndrome) I did come up with a few ideas of what it is and how to help. Causes: Overconfidence. You know those times that you think to yourself, "Sure, I can take two young kids to the Lowe's and buy 10 bags of mulch even though only 3 of them fit in my car and my husband isn't here to help." No - just don't do it. Don't say yes to everything someone suggests. Even if you think you can handle it, if you are currently (or have recently been) suffering from GMS, don't do it. Overscheduling. I currently have one main...

Some of you may (or may not) have noticed that I haven't been posting in the last week or so. First, it was the Women's Retreat at Emerald Isle. We had a blast, the weather was beautiful, and I came back refreshed and with some amazing ideas for my blog. While I'm sure that eventually those ideas will come to fruition and wow you, I was confronted with a sad reality when I arrived home... All that refreshing, relaxing and kid-free time, simply made me a bit more lazy around the house. Rather than spring cleaning fever, I feel like I've just gotten spring break fever. I've been taking the kids to the park multiple times a week, letting them play in the water table outside, and barely keeping up with the basic house chores. It doesn't help that my son started soccer right after we got back (and I'm assistant coach for the team) and my husband has been working late since then because of a big snafu in his work project. So, let's be honest. It wasn't...

A part of any good organization is a well-thought out mission statement. Since we aren't "officially" a homeschool yet (in our state, we don't have to register until the oldest child in the school turns 7), we haven't quite sat down to come up with an "official" name or mission statement. However, after a few of the latest blog posts, and helping some other families with advice for their journey to begin homeschool, I've decided it is important to sit down and list a few of the reasons we homeschool. Having a goal, idea, or even just a homeschooling "personality" is very important. I would suggest narrowing down your reasons for (or against) and ideas about homeschooling before even looking at curriculum options. If you don't, you might find yourself overwhelmed by all the choices, or spending a lot of money on a curriculum that doesn't end up fitting with your style. Obviously, this is just a blog post, but if you want a book t...

My husband said he missed being younger and carefree in his 20s. Maybe it's because I don't remember a lot of my 20s, but I can't think of much to miss (except the baby stage of my kids, since they are now officially both in the "preschool" age range). I feel like I wouldn't want to go back there, because I've learned and grown so much since then (although I obviously still have a long way to grow). So, while celebrating the birthday catapulting our youngest from babyhood to preschool, I reminisced a bit about what we were really celebrating. We're celebrating another year of growth in his life. I feel like 3 months ago, he was still wearing 18 months, and now he's outgrowing some of his 2T clothes. I can't wait to see how much he's grown at his official check-up tomorrow. He's enjoying puzzles and mazes, knows his colors and many numbers and letters/letter sounds. He is stubborn, sweet, cuddly, and defiant all at the same time. ...

As you may note from the labels, this is primarily a homeschool post, but it has many applications to real life as well, for those of you who haven't jumped on the homeschooling bandwagon yet (and may not ever). The last few weeks, I've gotten busy with other things. We started out the "semester" strong after a short Christmas break. We finished up our first set of math books and fine motor skill books. My 5 year old's reading has blossomed without any help from me, and his social skills are improving everyday. I was doing very little planning for our homeschool and the co-op had been planned well in advanced. So, I could finally relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor of an easygoing homeschool lifestyle, right? Then, the dreaded 3's hit our house a few weeks early. My adorable monster suddenly began demanding MY time and attention during our school day. He suddenly pushed his bedtime from 9:30 to 10:30 to 11:30 at night! Doesn't he know that I need sle...

As told by almost 3-year old J.P.C. Daniel came in the sunroom. A chicken crossed the road. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And, some walls. Now, if a chicken crossed the road, he would eat a lamp. And now, the chicken got one of those (pointing to some circles on the keyboard)  and peeked out of his hole and pressed "w". Uh-huh, duvvle u. Now, the chicken would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And Clifford. He jumps. Now, he does typing. tipo0ujuotyiokihfop;k99iuty9juutyyp0th6yo6ui97ik7uoup7u[0ouhohoki7upio6uji7u A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hmmmm, Now, a chicken crossed the road and ate it. Ummm, the chicken had a baby. Yeah, that what I said. And then he pushed numbers. 5885866565555555555554615555555555522222222222222222222222222222222222 The chicken typed. And then he pressed numbers. He got a phone and pressed numbers. He was calling 2222 and then a man hear him. And then, he pressed numbers again. The End That was my last story.

The blog has been silent the last few days, because I've been spending time on something a bit more important, time with my family and husband. We just got back from a family trip to Maggie Valley for some fun in the snow and to celebrate Valentine's Day and the 8th Anniversary of our marriage. We followed that up last night with a dinner out at a "fancy" restaurant sans kids. Why is this so important? Couldn't we have spent that money on feeding the homeless, or educating the poor, or worldwide poverty? We certainly could have done that with our $300 or so, but I think that money was well-invested in building a better relationship with my husband. I love to read, and one of the books I've been reading recently is very negative towards the institution of marriage. They romance the idea of extramarital affairs and make committed couples seem boring and just another way to escape from real life. If you watch TV much, you'll see plenty of the same, if y...

The Case of the Missing Meatballs As narrated by DC One day, I was in the kitchen in my house. And then, I wanted to go into the living room. And then, I gone back into the kitchen, and then I saw my meatballs. They were gone. I’ll give you some clues: His name is Algebra and he was a mean guy. He liked meatballs and he would like 1,000 meatballs, and I had the mix for that. And so he stole the mix. So, I had to buy some more mix, and then he stole the mix again. Again, and again, and again he did that. Then I said, “Crazy typing!” Then I wanted to do that… Fbyugenhnfdnxynycfnyfxyxxxjmnnnnnn We tried to kill Algebra. And then, and then, he almost got dead. But, he actually had a gun, and I died, because he shooted at me. And he shooted at mommy too. And then, he shooted Daddy. And then, he shooted our grandparents. So, Gran and Pa are dead. A fairy came and got Daddy alive, because God helped him. Then the police, which was...

Lately, I've been thinking about my own challenging children. I see parents who seem to magically be able to convince their children to obey with a whisper, while I find myself routinely bargaining, threatening, yelling, and all the other things you're not supposed to do when disciplining your children. So, sometimes I do wonder whether my children are really just that challenging, or if there is a lack of appropriate discipline in my house. Obviously no parent is perfect, and maybe the people that I think have it all are just beating their children behind closed doors. However, it is difficult to determine whether or not your discipline is working when children have such different personalities. My dad seems to think corporal punishment is the way to go, but I think he's forgetting when my brother turned 14 and there was essentially a knock down drag out fight in the hallway as he didn't want to be spanked (and he was never spanked again). I also think, that any di...

I was reading in my Bible this morning and came across an old familiar passage in a new light. Jesus said, "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30 (ESV). I've probably read this passage a million times, but usually we focus on "come to me" and "my yoke is easy". Today I was drawn to "learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart". Lately I've been struggling with kindness in my personal family life. I make excuses (yeah, I know I was going to try not to do that as much) and I justify it, and say I'll work on it when the kids are older. There are times when I will need to adjust my voice volume or tone to my 5 year old, because he can't smell and therefore has a hard time understanding micro-expressions. However, ...

Coming off of the busy holiday season, I've been challenging myself to try to find some time to have a true Sabbath, or rest time during my week. With young kids, it can be hard to truly get away from it all. Now, I'm not saying that I don't "zone out" by watching TV or reading a book or surfing on the Internet. I'm talking about true rest. Time to think deep thoughts, without interruption. Time to enjoy God's creation in solitude. Time to pray deeply and sing loudly and read thoroughly. How do we create this Sabbath rest in the middle of our over-scheduled busy lives? I have a few tips and ideas that you can try to see how they work. Wake up earlier. This would be a lot easier if I didn't end up with my two-year old in our bed almost every night. If I get up, he's sure to realize that his warm snugly (i.e. his mother) is no longer in bed and will follow shortly. However, it may work on some occasions or for other people. Go to bed later. ...

Normally, I don't post on Wednesdays, but this deal was too good to pass up. Schoola is currently offering an additional 40% off gently used items with discount code HOTSTYLES. I'm not sure how long this sale will last, and if you combine it with a free $20 credit, you should be able to get 2-4 quality used items for free! I don't recommend Schoola if you're paying their "normal" prices (I've gotten some funky things occasionally, like girls pants instead of boys, and 3 month instead of 3T clothing and prices are a little high in my opinion). But if you combine some credit and a sale, you can't go wrong. Also, free shipping! I just ordered a free pair of 3T pants with a very small credit I had left over that was expiring this month. If you haven't signed up before, use my referral link below to get a $20 credit! Click here for a $20 credit for signing up at Schoola! **The above link is a referral link, but no one pays me for my opinion. Thank...

I feel pretty good about life right now. I actually completed a craft project with some friends a few weekends ago, and I finally was able to hang it up. The kids played with it for their obligatory two minutes before going back to what Parents magazine called "the game of ouch". If you're not sure what the rules are for the game of ouch, they do vary for each round. The game is over when one of the boys cries loud enough to need attention. Props may include wooden trains, Hot Wheels cars, puzzle pieces and more. House rules (such as playing nicely with our toys and keeping our hands and feet to ourselves) obviously do not apply when playing this game. So, to avoid the game of ouch using Christmas ornaments, I jumped at the chance to make a simple felt Christmas tree for my kids to redecorate. A few friends came over and we all pooled our craft materials together. It took a bit longer than expected, primarily because I'm not that into crafts and we had two ex...

I have a theory that a lot of a person's attitude about life in general can stem from external versus internal causation and blame. If you're curious for a more scholarly look at the theory you can google "Internal versus external locus of control". Of course, I'm not the first person who came up with this theory, but I figure that I will put my own spin on it in this brief blog post. In short, people who don't blame anyone or anything for their situation are more satisfied with life in general. Those who are focused on who is to blame for their struggles or woes, are too focused on the negative rather than moving forward and improving their lot in life. Normally, I would assume that this must apply primarily to people in extreme circumstances, because I have a pretty good life, so who would I be blaming for anything? However, I was recently challenged by some things I've been reading for our small group discussions, and realized that blame is a really...

We have two sets of grandparents interested in gift ideas, and are looking for things for our own children, so I came up with my top list of Christmas gift ideas that you won't see advertised on TV (based on my kids ages and interests, of course). Almost 3-year old boy - STEM - educational toy - Bambino-LUK Starter Pack (approximately $25).  Music - VTech Record and Learn KidiStudio  Art - high quality paintbrushes, canvases, and paints. Preschool kids can use adult art supplies with supervision. The Crayola 5-count art and craft brush set is also a good quality "kids" set. Books - purchase quality children's literature such as The Story about Ping , How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World , or true classics like Winnie the Pooh . Active play - Balance ball for kids (they can "sit" while listening to a story, "play" with it, or exercise with it). Young Elementary School Age STEM - educational toy -  Outdoor play - Anything f...

I've seen a lot of people lately posting about wanting to be "used up" or "emptied out" as parents, Christians, wives, or friends. Giving everything of yourself isn't a bad idea in and of itself, but it is a bit misguided. Because when we give love, we aren't emptied out, we're filled up. When we give gifts we aren't empty-handed, we're open-hearted. The idea that giving of yourself is costly is just slightly off the mark. Giving of yourself is priceless. Yes, there may be times that you feel a bit stretched or a bit pinched in your life when you are working hard or giving generously, or loving fully. However, those moments are inevitably followed by moments of pure and priceless joy and full and complete love. Love is not only self-sacrificing, it is self-replicating. The love you give will be returned. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive. Don't settle for the self-deprecating and self-harming co-dependence that society ...