Tales From Another Planet

One of the problems that I see with evangelism in a post-Christian society is that people have really tough questions that they know "shut down" the majority of Christians. This is the first in what may end up being a series of posts dealing with sticky evangelistic topics. I don't feel like I am very good at evangelism, but I want to get better, and how else to get better than to dive right in to one of the trickiest topics out there. "I can't believe in a God that sends good people to hell." This is probably one of the toughest questions out there. The majority of non-Christians don't see themselves as any different than Christians. They see us as hypocritical, judgmental, and "just like them". So why do Christians say that we exclude other religions and the non-religious from this fantastic "heaven" that we desire so much? Why would a good God send decent people to hell? What we do isn't "that bad" really, is it? ...

I had started this post awhile back, and never got around to it. However, since my pastor at church brought up the topic last Sunday, I decided to finally get back to writing (since it has been forever). The famous (infamous) quote from Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. As I understand that quote, we should carefully select the 5 people we spend the most time with. Unfortunately for some of us, those people may not always be easily re-selected. I have seen a lot of folks lately who are working with their children's fathers, but not actively spending time with them. Whether they are divorced, ex-boyfriends, or simply struggling, it breaks my heart. I can't fathom trying to co-parent with someone who I don't want on my "5 people" list. Yet, as a Christian, we are NOT called to disown people simply because of their failings, characteristics or personality.

With the New Year comes a new start. I have seen so many people posting on my favorite website to hate on (Facebook) about how they are "refreshing" themselves in the New Year by getting rid of people. Honestly, it just makes my heart break. Full disclaimer, I'm not talking about being a doormat or taking abuse from someone. Those are separate instances entirely and more power to those who can step away from abusive situations.

Ahhh, Facebook. The joys of watching other people spiral into a cycle of ever depressing memes, What did we ever do before your glorious awakening? I pretty much hate memes, but for some reason everything the Facebook criteria puts in my feed has a picture, which unfortunately includes memes. Some of the more recent ones that a select few Facebook friends have shared or posted are about "dropping toxic people". Everyone is smiling and nodding their heads, "Yeah, we don't want those people in our lives."

My third child was recently born, and things did not go exactly as I had hoped. We had been "on the fence" with the doctors for several months: placenta previa, low lying placenta, in and out of the hospital several times with bleeding issues. We finally were graduated from low lying placenta and conservatively told we could do a "trial of labor" at the beginning of January. As my due date approached at the end of January, we were feeling pretty positive about our attempt at a third natural labor and birth. The Braxton Hicks contractions were ramping up, our doula was on standby, and given my history of rather large babies, we decided to schedule a membrane sweep to try to get the party started a few days before my due date. Unfortunately, we belatedly realized that with bleeding issues, a membrane sweep may not have been the best choice. There was no immediate bleeding, but about 8 hours later, as contractions began coming fast and strong, the bottom dropped ou...

A few recent comments from church members and small group members has created some deep thinking recently regarding diversity in family and parenting styles in the church. As any of my long-term blog followers know, at one point I struggled with judgment towards others. My Meyers Brigg personality is a borderline I/E but a very strong NTJ, especially that big fat J. Fortunately, part of being a Christian is growth and development through the working of the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and other Christians. As a late teenager and young adult, I was able to almost completely resolve my fear/judgment cycle (because I judged others, I feared their judgment towards me and became very hesitant and reserved).

As I come to the final few weeks of pregnancy with our third child (a third boy of course), I have been wondering about those people who hope to have the "first baby of the year". I was a bit disappointed not to have a December baby (obviously, I hope he bakes long enough to be healthy) when I ended up in the hospital shortly after Christmas and thought about all the benefits of having a baby in December rather than January. He was pretty close to being fully cooked, so he probably could have avoided a long stay in the hospital, so I thought about all the benefits and drawbacks of December versus January babies.

If there's one thing I've been thinking of more than usual lately, it's the sad and strange fact that all of us are human. We hold some people up to higher standards for whatever reason (pastors, politicians, police, etc.) However, even those most austere and auspicious, are still only people. People with sin. People with personalities and passions. People with ideology and false theology and tendencies and past experiences and misinformation. Isn't it a beautiful and strange thing?

One problem in our society today, is the "golden handcuffs" phenomenon. I'm sure you've heard of it before, assuming that it applied only to the very wealthy. In reality, I feel that the golden handcuffs apply to way more people in modern society than we might think. Essentially, what the term means, is that you've gotten used to living a certain lifestyle, which requires a certain income, and you can't see any way to make significant lifestyle changes so you are therefore "trapped" in your job indefinitely, unable to make career choices as you might otherwise. Why is this big deal? And why do I slap the label "religion" on this post?

Unfortunately, I think the problem of racism won't completely go away, until we acknowledge the subtle forms of racism that take place everyday. Yes, there are big issues, but people tend to ignore the big issues. They assume the severe cases of racism are just a "bad apple" here or there and neglect to address their own, more subtle brand of racism.

I've noticed a lot of churches and towns try really hard at building community. The towns or areas of town throw community block parties, or host festivals. The churches have sermons on reaching out to new people and making them feel comfortable. You may have even tried to have community yourself by following a list of ideas and then trying to replicate that process over and over until you can build community. However, I've noticed in my life, none of that has really seemed to work in the past. When I went to a large church in a large city, I did all the right things. I volunteered, I joined small groups, I talked to my neighbors and had part-time jobs to meet people. I joined mom's groups and tried to follow all the "how to make a friend" lists out there. Sadly, after nearly 8 years, I still had only a tiny handful of close friends who I could count on to help out in a crisis (and some of them were moving away at the same time we were). It was incredibly diffic...

If I could change only two things in this country today, this is what I would pick. 1) No person working for government can accept any type of gift - including campaign donations personally. Basically, NCAA standards would apply to anyone in federal government. If it's wrong for a college student to accept help paying rent or an electric bill, then it's wrong for a government official making $170,000 to accept hotel stays, rental cars, $1,000 meals, and more. All campaign donations should be made anonymously to avoid the current process of kickbacks and corruption. 2) Pharmaceutical sales representatives would not be allowed to verbally transmit any information regarding their products. All product information must be written (or digital) and approved by the company's legal department. Also, they would be prevented from "bringing food" and other gifts of that nature to doctors and hospitals. The cost of many drugs has risen exponentially over the past several ...

I know some of you are tired of the ever-present "crazy, homeschool mom" posts. So, I thought I would change things up a bit with a post that applies to public or private schools. Having been a teacher (briefly) at one of the lowest performing public schools in Louisville, KY, I thought I would share my "best practices" and "pet peeves" for choosing a "best school" for your child (if you don't homeschool of course). Pet Peeves Choosing a school based on test scores alone. Test scores are primarily affected by the income level of the students at the school, not the teaching or administrative qualities of a particular school. If you look at test scores alone, you could end up sending your child to a really terrible school that happens to have a lot of rich kids AND missing out on an opportunity for your child to become a leader in a diverse community and learn a lot more than their multiplication facts. Choosing a school based on ...

One of the more recent problems caused by the social media takeover of culture is the idea that we are the center of our own universe. A side effect of this unusual philosophy is the "you have a problem" syndrome. Of course, this particular issue is not a new problem, but it certainly seems to be getting worse. Unfortunately, I've found that this syndrome occurs just as frequently in those that are not attached to social media, perhaps as a defense against the you-centric philosophy of culture, but perpetuating some of the same mythology. I can't tell you the number of conversations I've over heard (see my previous post on  Life as a Reserved Extrovert  to find out why I am listening in on conversations without necessarily participating) where someone is completely bashing someone for X activity without realizing that what they are bashing someone for is incredible similar to what they are currently doing. Let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking...

I know, it's been awhile since I've posted. Between being sick and the nicer weather, and the never-ending schedule of activities, work, and housekeeping, I haven't had much writing time. The one day I did take some writing time, I worked on one of my novels (estimated date of publish 2022). However, I've been steaming over something for a little while, and finally decided to write about it. In order to get a discount through my husband's work for our insurance, we have to get our "numbers" done at a laboratory every year (cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, etc.) AND spend 20 minutes (or so) doing an "online health assessment" through the insurance company. I'm not upset (right now) over the health information they have on me, because honestly, Facebook probably has more information on me than I want, and people are much more likely to hack into that than my insurance company. However, in scanning through the "red, yellow, and gr...

My oldest has been joking a bit lately that mom is the "non-fun" one and dad is the "fun one". Some of this is his age (5.5 years old) some of it is an increase in behavior problems lately, but some of it is actually true, Now, I'm not going to lie and say that being a Mom is naturally stress free and all you have to do is let go a little and you'll magically feel better. But, as a fellow GMS sufferer (Grumpy Mom Syndrome) I did come up with a few ideas of what it is and how to help. Causes: Overconfidence. You know those times that you think to yourself, "Sure, I can take two young kids to the Lowe's and buy 10 bags of mulch even though only 3 of them fit in my car and my husband isn't here to help." No - just don't do it. Don't say yes to everything someone suggests. Even if you think you can handle it, if you are currently (or have recently been) suffering from GMS, don't do it. Overscheduling. I currently have one main...

Among other fun topics at the "Women's Retreat" recently, a friend and I were discussing gender roles in different areas of society today. We discussed the interesting facts of secular versus "conservative" society and how neither one can really get it right. My husband asked me, half-jokingly, when transitioning from an almost all female workplace, where men were devalued and not allowed to move up when they were clearly the best candidate, to a mostly male workplace, where women are not in positions of leadership. He wondered, "Is there a place where men and women can work together side by side?" It's an interesting question. The post-feministic society does at times tend to devalue men. At his previous place of employment, a white male would be considered last for the job, despite the fact that the office was 90% female. His boss, and boss's boss, and boss's boss's boss were all female. When he had clearly earned a position of lead...

Some of you may (or may not) have noticed that I haven't been posting in the last week or so. First, it was the Women's Retreat at Emerald Isle. We had a blast, the weather was beautiful, and I came back refreshed and with some amazing ideas for my blog. While I'm sure that eventually those ideas will come to fruition and wow you, I was confronted with a sad reality when I arrived home... All that refreshing, relaxing and kid-free time, simply made me a bit more lazy around the house. Rather than spring cleaning fever, I feel like I've just gotten spring break fever. I've been taking the kids to the park multiple times a week, letting them play in the water table outside, and barely keeping up with the basic house chores. It doesn't help that my son started soccer right after we got back (and I'm assistant coach for the team) and my husband has been working late since then because of a big snafu in his work project. So, let's be honest. It wasn't...

Most of us have heard the term by now, "white privilege". It means different things to different people, and is actually a bit different in many cases. So, what is "my" white privilege, and why does it matter? First, white privilege doesn't mean you are a racist person. It actually means that you don't have to think about race. For example, whenever I read a book written in this country, I typically assume it is written about/by/for white people, until and unless I read otherwise. Unfortunately, movies are much the same way. To some extent, this is because we apply our own world view to what we read, but to a greater extent, it's because those are the pocketbooks most likely to spend money on those products, so that's who the "main characters" are based upon. Some other examples? It means if I were to be pregnant in a bad situation, the majority of people would not ask, are you getting an abortion? It means if I were to be unemployed, I...

As you may note from the labels, this is primarily a homeschool post, but it has many applications to real life as well, for those of you who haven't jumped on the homeschooling bandwagon yet (and may not ever). The last few weeks, I've gotten busy with other things. We started out the "semester" strong after a short Christmas break. We finished up our first set of math books and fine motor skill books. My 5 year old's reading has blossomed without any help from me, and his social skills are improving everyday. I was doing very little planning for our homeschool and the co-op had been planned well in advanced. So, I could finally relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor of an easygoing homeschool lifestyle, right? Then, the dreaded 3's hit our house a few weeks early. My adorable monster suddenly began demanding MY time and attention during our school day. He suddenly pushed his bedtime from 9:30 to 10:30 to 11:30 at night! Doesn't he know that I need sle...