You Don't Deserve Loyalty (and that's okay)
With the New Year comes a new start. I have seen so many people posting on my favorite website to hate on (Facebook) about how they are "refreshing" themselves in the New Year by getting rid of people. Honestly, it just makes my heart break. Full disclaimer, I'm not talking about being a doormat or taking abuse from someone. Those are separate instances entirely and more power to those who can step away from abusive situations.
Rather, these are normal everyday people who, for whatever reason, have decided that if you cause them stress, you are out of their life.
Honestly, my kids cause me stress everyday and some days I am tempted, but unfortunately, I can't get rid of them that easily. They are stuck in my heart strings, and that's a fabulous thing!
Now, I will try not to post any specifics, because I honestly have no issue with the multiple people I have seen doing this. I love and respect them and agree with the very basic idea behind what they are trying to do, but the method is just not there. For instance, one person noted that they were "very loyal" to the people in their lives who were nice to them, but would "cut out" everyone else. Now, toxic people can be a real thing, but guess what, being "loyal" only to the people who are nice to you, is not loyalty at all.
Don't get me wrong, I value kindness and gentleness in my friends. But I also value my friends. Period. Even the ones who are occasionally brash and mean. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I try to look on the positive rather than the negative. Even when it seems like a personal attack, I try to give grace and forgiveness. I was really hurt by a particular friend after one social event because I took something she said personally, but I pulled on my big girl panties and went back to the next event, dreading out interaction. Can you imagine that she was the sweetest, most sensitive person in the world that day?!?
She was! And all I had to do was show up with a blank sheet of paper rather than keeping score. She hadn't meant anything personal with her last comments, and even if she had, well what then?
We can choose how to respond to what happens to us. We can choose to act on love, forgiveness, and respect for other people's personalities and souls. Or, we can choose to react, become defensive, protect "our" rights and privileges. Instead of considering the best in others, we can bring out the worst in ourselves. In this New Year, which would you rather be doing?
Rather, these are normal everyday people who, for whatever reason, have decided that if you cause them stress, you are out of their life.
Honestly, my kids cause me stress everyday and some days I am tempted, but unfortunately, I can't get rid of them that easily. They are stuck in my heart strings, and that's a fabulous thing!
Now, I will try not to post any specifics, because I honestly have no issue with the multiple people I have seen doing this. I love and respect them and agree with the very basic idea behind what they are trying to do, but the method is just not there. For instance, one person noted that they were "very loyal" to the people in their lives who were nice to them, but would "cut out" everyone else. Now, toxic people can be a real thing, but guess what, being "loyal" only to the people who are nice to you, is not loyalty at all.
Don't get me wrong, I value kindness and gentleness in my friends. But I also value my friends. Period. Even the ones who are occasionally brash and mean. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I try to look on the positive rather than the negative. Even when it seems like a personal attack, I try to give grace and forgiveness. I was really hurt by a particular friend after one social event because I took something she said personally, but I pulled on my big girl panties and went back to the next event, dreading out interaction. Can you imagine that she was the sweetest, most sensitive person in the world that day?!?
She was! And all I had to do was show up with a blank sheet of paper rather than keeping score. She hadn't meant anything personal with her last comments, and even if she had, well what then?
We can choose how to respond to what happens to us. We can choose to act on love, forgiveness, and respect for other people's personalities and souls. Or, we can choose to react, become defensive, protect "our" rights and privileges. Instead of considering the best in others, we can bring out the worst in ourselves. In this New Year, which would you rather be doing?
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