Toxic Masculinity and Transgender Kids - more closely related than you think

Recently, there have been several news articles coming out about parents of very young kids allowing their children to "change gender" pre-puberty. Understandably, there are medical benefits to this. Unfortunately, in my opinion, it is a classic case of child abuse.

Here's my problem. Unless you have a toxic view of masculinity, there is absolutely no need or even a desire for a boy to become a girl (or vice versa).

For example, a pro transgender friend of mine shared an article that basically asked everyone, whether transgender or not, to think about their gender. What about you says that you are a man/woman? What about you doesn't fit your idea of a gender role? What do you think of when you think of a man/woman? And then they admitted that the final decision to change gender was, "I just don't want to be a man/woman".

Well, here's the problem with that idea... not one single person in this world is the "ideal" model for their gender. There are plenty of men that do something "unmanly" and plenty of women that don't "feel feminine". But when we have people who "don't feel" some other body feature, we have to accept that there are some things we can change if we really want to (hair color, eye color with contacts, body shape, etc) and there are some things we can't. If I'm right handed, I can't become left handed. If I'm 6'6", I can't suddenly become 5'4". We have to learn to live and love our own bodies.

So, in reality, whether you "feel like" a traditional male or female or not, the whole idea behind gender identification is irrelevant. The truth is, regardless of how feminine or masculine we judge ourselves to be, all we are doing is comparing a societal construct (i.e. what is the "role" of a man or woman) with a physical body part. Trust me when I say no one really wants the insanity of female emotions. But there are plenty of men who don't "identify" with toxic masculinity, and I thin that's fantastic!

Men don't have to be fighters, they can be lovers. Boys don't have to fight, they can cook and play with dolls. Fathers can put on makeup and nail polish for their daughters, and attend their tea parties. And any feminist would say the absolute same thing about women. We can wear shapeless clothing, take boxing lessons, be in the military, wear short hair, fly airplanes, etc. So the only reason to attempt to change your gender is a sexual preference, and to be quite honest, I think there are enough opinions and tools in that regard that if I wanted to get into "too much information" territory, I could easily disprove the "need" for that as well.

So, the next time your little boy or girl doesn't "feel like" their gender, try to talk it out with them, instead of 1) freaking out that they might want to change gender or sexual orientation (which is really not possible before puberty) or 2) giving them the idea that they can change anything physical about them to "feel whole". We won't be whole until we reach heaven. All of us struggle with the issue of identity and self-worth. But rather than asking if we fit a societal ideal for whatever gender means, we should be accepting and loving who we really are. Whether you label yourself male or female, God has created you male or female. And you may be a very masculine woman or a very feminine man. Without the toxic masculinity in modern American society, would it really matter?